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She seems to have short-term memory impairment so anything you tell her will evaporate into the ethos, just in time for you to have to re-convince her the next day. I agree with others that you don't discuss it with her when she starts haranging you. You do what you feel willing and able to do. You can fend her off by distracting her or changing the subject. Take her for a drive to see the pretty Christmas lights locally. Have her decorate cookies or make chain garland or cut paper snow flakes. I hope you have a peaceful holiday together.
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She will think she decorated it this year as well.
You don't convince her of anything; we never do.
You simply do it as you must do it and that is that.
Where did this new thing come from that we are responsible for our parents happiness and that old age has ANYTHING to do WHATSOEVER with happiness in general. Old age is about loss. It is about memory and trying to be as contented as you are able knowing your life is draining away. This isn't a happy time and I assure you of that as an 82 year old. And you have gone from DD to caregiver. Responsible for EVERYTHING and with no thanks for it.

This is simple. This will be what it must be for YOUR sake. It has nothing to do with her, her choice, her happiness, or really the onus and burden that Holidays and their "happy-all-the-time" burden puts upon half the populace every year.
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You don't need to convince her of anything. She'll know Christmas will be different this year when she sees it with her own eyes. I'd not discuss it with her at all if it were me.
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Just buy a table top tree and tell her the decor is up. Then order Christmas dinner from the Grocery to pick up the day before and done and done. ✔️
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ElizabethAR37 Nov 2024
Makes sense to me! My husband (95) and I (soon to be 88) will be doing minimal decorating and cooking this Christmas. Making our adult children responsible for Christmas? Nope! They have their own. Our son has offered to put up our outdoor wreath and a "light show" fixture, which we greatly appreciate. Otherwise, if we can't do it, it isn't getting done.
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