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I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
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V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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It’s hard for a Senior to become accustomed to a new doctor even if she just switches locally. I know. With my lousy health insurance, I’ve had to switch twice in two years.
I’d say doctor shop. Most doctors will have a “meet and greet” appointment where Mom can decide if she likes this particular doctor or not. You can also read online reviews of particular doctors. And ask her current doctor if they know of anyone wherever she’s moving.
As for the culture, we’re not so hard to get along with up here in the North. We have our bad apples, sure. But for the most part, we’re easygoing. Don’t expose Mom to too much at one time. When you’re our age, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed. Take her out to lunch and “people watch”. Take her to museums featuring local history. At this time of year, a lot of cities up here have local festivals and Farmer’s Markets. Just take it slow. If she’s like my mom, she will follow your lead. If you seem to enjoy something, she will too.
GA, not only do some people in the south still refer to some people from the north as "Yankees", we also call a few of them "D---- Yankees" on occasion. :)
Technie, ouch! I used to think the Civil War ended when it legally ended, but I realized when I visited New Orleans that it's still present in the mind of many Southerners.
If I ever visit again, I might have to affect a Southern drawl to avoid discrimination!
Gati, my Mom who was born, raised, and spent most of her first 40 some years in New England and in New York, was very racist, not only regarding someone's ethic background but also with religion. When my parents moved to southern Virginia that was a major culture shock to my Mom.
When Mom was in her late 90's and was living at long-term-care in northern Virginia, I remember her yelling at the aides to "speak English". They were speaking English but they had accents. Par for the course. Heavens, my Mom didn't even like my delightful mother-in-law who was from France who had a mixed of French and Southern accent.
To make matters worse, my Mom didn't like doctors who were women, nor Senators or Mayors who were women, and heaven forbid a woman who was a sport caster!!
Unfortunately, we cannot change how they feel about other people after all these decades.
gati1263, moving from one culture area to another can be difficult to someone older, leaving behind their doctors, and their hairdressers. In fact, it can be harder to find a good hairdresser then doctors :P
See if Mom's new area has a senior center that she can join. Nothing more fun then finding someone from your prior State, one makes a quick bond with that person :)
Is she inculcated in southern culture? Do you think she'll be comfortable living with "Yankees"? (I was shocked to learn when I visited New Orleans that some people still refer to Northerners as Yankees. If she was raised in the South, how does she feel about living in the North?
You probably will have to prepare her for literally being housebound in the winter, as it may take some time to acclimate to the cold weather we have, not to mention getting used to not being able to go outside b/c of icy walks and streets.
You might want to think about winter activities now and segue into them as winter creeps in.
And get her a winter wardrobe, and perhaps a small heater as it'll probably be too cold for her. Fleece blankets will help with that, not only for sitting but for sleeping.
I'd acclimate her to the doctors slowly, one at a time and allow her to get used to them with a few weeks of down time until she needs to see another one. And prioritize them; if she has certain medical conditions, see those doctors first.
She was better today. I think some days are better than others. But Delaware doctors have different rules to abide by regarding pain medication which she does not like. She also does not like the staff at her assisted living are people of color. It is hard to hear her be so racist. I don't know what to do but tell her they have a right to exist too. I will try getting her to visit local things and see if she enjoys them and get her plenty of warm stuff for the winter. However, save 1 blizzard or ice storm a year Delaware winters aren't that bad.
I’ve been reading a very good book called “American Nations, A History of The Eleven Rival Regional Cultures of North America” by Colin Woodard. And two of the eleven regions are indeed called Yankeedom and Deep South. I’m not sure this book would help your mom acclimate but it explains a great deal about how we are all influenced by our historical roots and enduring cultures. I guess I’m saying that there is a reason not altogether just her age as to why your mother feels the way she does. She is in a foreign land. A different nation from where she was accustomed to living. Hopefully she’ll become more comfortable as time passes.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
I’d say doctor shop. Most doctors will have a “meet and greet” appointment where Mom can decide if she likes this particular doctor or not. You can also read online reviews of particular doctors. And ask her current doctor if they know of anyone wherever she’s moving.
As for the culture, we’re not so hard to get along with up here in the North. We have our bad apples, sure. But for the most part, we’re easygoing. Don’t expose Mom to too much at one time. When you’re our age, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed. Take her out to lunch and “people watch”. Take her to museums featuring local history. At this time of year, a lot of cities up here have local festivals and Farmer’s Markets. Just take it slow. If she’s like my mom, she will follow your lead. If you seem to enjoy something, she will too.
If I ever visit again, I might have to affect a Southern drawl to avoid discrimination!
When Mom was in her late 90's and was living at long-term-care in northern Virginia, I remember her yelling at the aides to "speak English". They were speaking English but they had accents. Par for the course. Heavens, my Mom didn't even like my delightful mother-in-law who was from France who had a mixed of French and Southern accent.
To make matters worse, my Mom didn't like doctors who were women, nor Senators or Mayors who were women, and heaven forbid a woman who was a sport caster!!
Unfortunately, we cannot change how they feel about other people after all these decades.
See if Mom's new area has a senior center that she can join. Nothing more fun then finding someone from your prior State, one makes a quick bond with that person :)
You probably will have to prepare her for literally being housebound in the winter, as it may take some time to acclimate to the cold weather we have, not to mention getting used to not being able to go outside b/c of icy walks and streets.
You might want to think about winter activities now and segue into them as winter creeps in.
And get her a winter wardrobe, and perhaps a small heater as it'll probably be too cold for her. Fleece blankets will help with that, not only for sitting but for sleeping.
I'd acclimate her to the doctors slowly, one at a time and allow her to get used to them with a few weeks of down time until she needs to see another one. And prioritize them; if she has certain medical conditions, see those doctors first.
It is hard to hear her be so racist. I don't know what to do but tell her they have a right to exist too. I will try getting her to visit local things and see if she enjoys them and get her plenty of warm stuff for the winter. However, save 1 blizzard or ice storm a year Delaware winters aren't that bad.
I guess I’m saying that there is a reason not altogether just her age as to why your mother feels the way she does.
She is in a foreign land. A different nation from where she was accustomed to living. Hopefully she’ll become more comfortable as time passes.