My husband is 74, and developed dementia post-stroke. He is convinced he did not have a stroke, but was made ill by somebody at city hall because they want his business. As a result, he will not follow a doctor's orders, take medication, or go to therapy.
He insists that every curtain in our house be closed, pitching us into perpetual darkness. He constantly paces, peeking, readjusting the curtains, and checking the doors. He has become angry with our neighbours, thinking they are in on it. He often won’t participate in activities with me like going to the pool or sitting in the sunshine on the deck because of his mistrust of “those people.”
This disease is hard enough. I am trying to stay positive, but with this paranoia and having to fight him so I can help him and never getting to see the sun in the morning, I have lost all hope. Any thoughts of how to manage?
Or as a last resort placement in a memory care.
I am so sorry. It starts now with solid assessment with the medical team. Keep a diary with solid incidents such as you have mentioned to us. Short and sweet notes for the doc to look at quickly. That will give an idea when, where, and how to start. I am wishing you the best and hoping you will update us.
If he starts doing dangerous things like leaving the house, keeping a knife under his pillow, etc, you may need to place him in a facility for his own safety and yours. You might want to investigate options now so that you have a plan should you need it.
I am so sorry with all that you are dealing with. It is hard to say the least.
Are you safe? There's a possibility that his paranoia could lead to violence, unfortunately.
Are you able to leave the house without him so you can go by yourself outside or to the pool? If so, please do, for your own mental health.
He may need to go to memory care long-term, but they will need him to be stable enough to be around other residents.
I hope someone else with experience can offer suggestions on how to get him into a hospital. If he does need to go for any physical reason, that will be an opportunity to address the mental issues.
I'm sorry to ramble but my heart goes out to you because this is so difficult for you.
Her doctor put her on antidepressants and that worked for a while but her fears ended up surpassing what they could help with in the end, though they still help a little.
i was able to use all this to convince her to move to memory care since there were people there 24/7 to protect her from anyone who wanted to harm her. She still thinks someone may be trying to look in her window and recently worried about someone climbing in but I was able to tell her that the windows in MC don’t open far enough for even the smallest person to climb in. I can also remind her of the call cord by her bed so she can always alert the staff. I also tell her that I don’t think the building even has a basement! It is now much easier to address her fears. I handle her fear of spiders by telling her that the maintenance man specializes in keeping spiders out of the building (something he joked about when I mentioned her fear during my initial tour) and I thank him for doing it whenever we see him. Basically I can tell her that someone on the staff can address each of her fears to protect her when fears arise.
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