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Im live in caregiver for a elderly couple with dementia,I get little breaks during the day long enough to walk my dog, no days off.The lady is up like a dozen times all during the night so i get little to no sleep, The man requires less care from me but i still do alot for him There son pays me $3,600 per month but i wonder if thats enough ?

You should have some time off. Even a live-in caregiver does not need to be working 24 hours a day with no days off.

Tell the son he needs to hire someone to give you relief so you can take regularly scheduled days off - you determine what that is for you, one day a week, two days? What days would those be?
or you need 4 hours break on some days, with someone to come in and help or take over so you can just get outside, or take a nap. You can't be at your best for this couple if you are so exhausted mentally and physically.
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Reply to CaringWifeAZ
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Wow, they’re getting a deal. $3600 a month is about $120 a day. Where I live in the Chicago area it’s a minimum $250-$300 a day especially if you don’t get any sleep and you’re up all night caring for someone.
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Troubledson00 1 hour ago
Might depend on the state but in NY and PA my mom lives in NY I live in PA live in caregivers need 6 to 8 hours of uninterrupted time and their own space with a locked door. But major costs like rent are covered if rent is covered and they get their own space $3600 is not horrible.

I was looking into this for my mom but that is not cheap.
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Several things to consider. 3600/168 hrs =21.45 an hours. You are in the competitive pay.
you may look at having your hour's reduce to save your sanity, burnout, and stress level. Your health will suffer.
see if the family can have PCP prescribe night time medication.
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I think everyone is missing the point. When you are caregiving for someone 24hrs you are not actually doing a caregiver task 24hrs a day. You are just available with some notice. I took care of my wife for many years with her finial years being bed bound. I had time to do my own things. Work in the yard, do hobbies, sleep, shop etc.
Depending are where you live, room and board can have a significant value. In today’s economy that is easily worth 40k/yr. Or more and as a care giver you are lucky if you actually work 6hrs a day. The only caveat is you need to be available when work calls. So the ideal caregiver would have personal activities they can do at home even side jobs are possible.
consider a pilot as a similar job most think they are well paid but let me draw similarities. Pilots only get paid for wheels up time. They are even are limited to 100hrs/mo. But they still need to do flight planning and preflight technically with no pay and are on call 24hrs a day. The also get rooms and meals paid when on standby Just like a care giver.
so whatever do you decide to pay consider all the unpaid benefits you are giving in addition to the salary for what amounts to a part-time job
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cwillie 2 hours ago
In my world people are paid to be "on call" if they can't actually leave their place of work, and an unfortunate reality of caregiving is that unless firm boundaries are in place (for instance set work periods and days off) the work creeps into all times and aspects of life. I also believe the ability to do "side jobs" while never leaving home is a fantasy.
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Twelve years ago we paid 150/day for 12 days on and 2 off. For care of one person. Duties included making meals, laundry, cleaning and driving to appointments. I would say you are vastly underpaid.
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First of all, you're getting $3,600 a month in cash, tax-free, along with free room and board. Most likely you're showing no income on the books (unless you're also collecting some kind if disability) so you'd be getting free health insurance through Medicaid. Your pay under such circumstances would be more than adequate since you probably don't pay for anything.

You don't have to work for these people. You don't deserve more money than what you're getting for an under-the-table job with free room and board. You agreed to it. If it's not working for you move on. Get another job, start paying for rent, utilities, food, and health insurance. That $3,600 a month tax and bill free will seem like a lot when you're living in the real world where nothing is free.
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MG8522 2 hours ago
To the OP, if this isn't being done legally, with taxes etc., that's potentially a big problem both for you and for son who pays you.
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In my opinion, they are taking advantage of you. Perhaps not intentionally, so it is on you to educate them. Full time private care with an agency totals about $25,000 per month, with memory care facility $8000-10,000. You might inquire about local rates and advise them you need a raise.

Also, I think you would be wise to document for them what is involved for their parents' care. If you do not tell them the assumption on their part will be that all is manageable, fair and copacetic.

Your service is very valuable. Do not be afraid to ask for fair compensation and some help. It is not reasonable to expect one person to serve the needs for 2 dependent people 24/7.
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BurntCaregiver 2 hours ago
No, they are not taking advantage. The OP is no doubt taking advantage of the system and the American taxpayer. If they don't want to stay on that job, move on.
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So you are essentially a slave unable to leave. you still have to fill out taxes even if you are under the threshold. Otherwise if you do not file taxes, your senior social security and Medicare will be affected. Did you all your state office on employee affairs? Do you have a written contract? Does your employer have workmans comp insurance? If you get injured, then you can sue him. Everything spells illegal.
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BurntCaregiver 3 hours ago
Slaves do not get paid, MAC.
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Your rate works out to 8.88 an hour assuming you work 12 hours. It’s 4.44 if in fact you have to attend to her 24 hours a day.

Your “free” rent is what it would cost to rent a room. Around here that’s 1000 a month.
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Reply to PeggySue2020
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I pay a Cna who cares for my dad $32/hr and she is there 24 hours a week on avg. agree with others that your health and sanity should come first. And that you have cause to get more. If he were in a facility he’d be paying 8500 ish. Of course this is regional and level of care driven.

I was up a lot at night with care for my father who was up a lot- circling his house. He lives in a guest house on our property. I sought to limit this anxious behavior (he has late stage dementia) and he has been much better on a sleeping/anti anxiety med. A very low dose went a long way to settling his ‘out there’ behavior. That may be something to consider for the wife. It was hard for me to commit as my dad is very anti med. that behavior can be seen as mental pain over physical pain with dementia.
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Does the son know what your workload is? Do you communicate with him regularly or is he just hearing about his parents' lives from them? They may not be fully informing him of all the work you're doing and the demands they place on you. Or is he local and fully aware?
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Reply to MG8522
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You should consider your Health and Lack of sleep . One Person is hard never Mind 2 - I Know because I took care of 2 People . Eventually you will get exhausted and unable to function .
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You should have weekends Off .
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BurntCaregiver 2 hours ago
They should also be paying taxes.
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Whether it is enough for you, is up to you to decide, but of course working 24/7 is impossible and is therefore illegal in almost all states. What is required is two shifts of care. The sad fact is that often family members do this work--exactly this work. And it breaks them completely. We here have seen them fall terribly ill attempting this. So on that basis I think it is wrong to attempt 24/7 care. I don't think it is safely done.

Given that, and ignoring my opinion, if you are doing this then it is up to you to ask for the salary you feel is deserved. It will be up to the family whether or not they can afford it, and whether or not they continue to have you do this work, or decide to hire another.

I wish you the best.
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Reply to AlvaDeer
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Just know that if these folks were in a facility they would be paying anywhere from $6000-$10,000 EACH a month, so yes I'd say you are way underpaid, even if your housing and food are included in your pay.
Might be time to find another job, where you can actually still have a life and get the much needed sleep we all need.
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Reply to funkygrandma59
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I priced out 24/7 home care through an agency and it was $30 an hour.

There is too little information provided in your post to tell you if it is enough.

Are you a family member? If you are living on premise do you have a lease agreement for an exchange of service? I strongly suggest your have a private care contract established for the begining of the year if you do not have one currently. To many variables that can lead you to being homeless and jobless if you do not.
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BurntCaregiver 2 hours ago
I own a homecare agency. Live-ins are not paid hourly.
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