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In the big scheme of things this seems so small and irrelevant, but I've always had phone tag issues with her. Games.


This is silly when I write it out, but how do I unlearn this kind of thing?


I'm not in caregiving mode anymore so I'm not sure about a lot of things.


I do feel used and now that she doesn't live here anymore, I am left out in the cold so to speak but it is peaceful in my home.


I don't think she cares one way or another, as the last phone call I was 'dismissed' in short. She does that, cuts me off short. I think if she wants to talk to me she can call me.


Like I said this is a small 'problem'.


thank you for listening.


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No problem is small if it’s yours and it’s nothing you. Depending upon the circumstances under which your mom left your home, she may be miffed. Was it an amicable moving out? Her nose may be “out of joint” and she may be showing you she no longer needs you.

Or, since moving out, she may be testing her wings. Step back and let her call you. Time to disengage and find your own wings.
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Rbuser, I think that you should let her call you if she is playing games.

She can play but you don't have to.

Do things that enrich your life and find things and people that lift your spirits and your heart.

Sweet hearted lady, she has shown you how she feels, believe her and move on with your life.

Hugs! You deserve to be happy!
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I agree - let her call you and then only stay on the line if the conversation is pleasant. Enjoy your reprieve!!! Do things you want to do that are good for you.
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Ahmijoy, she was ready and able to go. But the mental manipulation is still in place. I'll figure it out.
ITRR-I appreciate it. I have too much time to think, I need to get busy and live my life.
Golden, I'm going to do that. Every couple of days should be enough. She is on her own and she is responsible for her stuff same as I am. I just have this sick feeling when she is quiet. Hard to explain.

thank you for your kindness.
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As Ahmijoy said, no problem is small that's bothering you in any way. 

You're both going through adjustments now.  You still want to talk to her, know how she is, how it's going, etc.  You said she cuts you off; maybe her focus is off, like watching tv or ready to nap, etc.  Not trying to excuse it though.  It's not a good feeling to be the one always doing the calling or being cut off.  She may forget your number or not be able to find it, that you called, she called, and not want you to know that. 

Call her whenever you want to (based on her schedule and yours).  Maybe 2x/day or whatever you're comfortable with and when you miss her, and keep it short, happy and light.  I usually get better responses by choosing times that are not near eating or napping times.  Once you know those approximate times, maybe try that.
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rbuser - I understand the sick feeling. You are waiting for the other shoe to fall. Thing is that's her problem not yours. I know it is hard to change the habits of a lifetime but it is well worth while, especially when the habits aren't healthy.. Please focus and you and your needs now.

Not sure what every few days means???
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Rbuser1 Jan 2020
Every few days to call or visit.

I need to stop this 'stinking thinking' and get on with my life.
thanks
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