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By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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As someone who worked in a few nursing homes, I say please visit them as often as you can. The resident who never have visitors, the staff becomes their family but we don't have the time for much personal contact. Attention and touch is so important for both their mental and physical health. I always felt sorry for the residents who only had visitors on Christmas and Easter.
When you have a loved one in a nursing home who is suffering from dementia, it is IMPERATIVE that you visit them as often as you can. They are in a strange place, there are NO memories there for them to hold on to. The nurses and CNA's are strangers as well. One thing I can't express enough is when you have a loved one in a nursing home, ask the CNA's or nurses to roll them over, if they are not able of course, and check their body for skin ulcers (bed sores), my Dad had FOUR on his body, one of which was a stage 4. Needless to say, he passed away from sepsis. He was so sick at the end and we did not know why he started pocketing his food. It was because he had an infection in his blood from the sores. We have a lawsuit pending on this. TRUST ME, nursing home staff DO NOT care for your loved one like a family member would.
Anne Are you and your mother happy in each other's company or is this a chore ? What does nh staff say about her leaving with you?
My mom 93 is very dependent upon me - since her move to memory care in February I visit her min 3x a week usually at night after work and stay til she's asleep in bed On Sunday I try to take her to dinner and sometimes a movie Today I got there at 7 am gave her a shower took for lab work out for breakfast Back to facility did jigsaw puzzles got her snacks and snuck out during her nap
My brother and sister never visit and if they did it would only be for a short time
I put myself in her shoes - I know how scared and alone she is but I'm exhausted all the time - it's getting to be too much after 9 mos
As a former CNA, I worked at two LTC facilities. Each CNA had 10 residents on the Evening shift, dinner and bed time. 10 residents is very doable. You want to avoid places that CNA's have 15 residents as a norm. If co-worker goes home their group gets split up. As a CNA it was the best experience I had. I noticed that some residents didn't have visitors at all, some had visitors everyday/all day. We had a lady on a feeding tube, she had zero body movement and zero communication. Zero visitors..her Obituary listed at least 25 family members. All she had was staff. We would knock on her door before walking in, say hello, and we would still have a one sided conversation with her. I had great co-workers, teamwork is key. Our families in both facilities were wonderful.
My mom is now in LTC after being in Assisted Living. The staff starting with the ladies at the front desk all the way to nursing staff are friendly and helpful. They are great with the Residents. I visit Mom once a week and I stay as long as she lets me. If I get there after dinner, she tells me she's tired and ready for bed. If I get there during the day she has some activity to go to so I better go she tells me.
Does this person look forward to your visits? Or enjoy them while you are there? If so, go as often as you can! My mom has dementia (early) but really seems to enjoy my company when I visit.
I can only tell you about my experience. My mother has been in a nursing home (alzheimer's floor) for the past 3 months. I visit every day for about 2 1/2 hours. It is still important to her . . . and to me. She still remembers me which helps and she can carry on a conversation, repetitive as it may be. A friend of mine who is 59 years old is at the same home on the same floor. Although he hardly speaks anymore and walks around in a daze it still helps him to have visits on some level. It doesn't matter that he probably can't remember me, although sometimes he seems to - quality of life should not change just because you're brain isn't up to par anymore.
I am also self employed which really helps. My advice is to make your decision dependent on what other responsibilities you have and what you feel is best for both of you. I would lean towards what is best for the loved one ;-) no matter how sad it may be.
Here's a really interesting link - http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=125869707 - which validates that visits matter.
I agree Mami. It is important that the staff see we haven't just dumped our parents off and leave them to the wind. Should that happen, and I doubt it will, but never say never, I would be there at all different times of the day and night so they wouldn't know when to expect me. That way they'd have to be on their p's and Q's.
Seems inportant to our parents that they know that we are still there for them anyway.
Again hasn't happened and I hope it doesn't, but should it, I will be there as often as possible.
My Father had Parkinson's and Demenia and we had to put him in a Nursing Home about 9 months before he passed away. (We were unable to pick him up if he fell at home.) My Mother and I spent about 3 hours every day with him but we were fortunate to be able to share the responsibility and that made it more tolerable.
Even though we researched and chose the best nursing home we could find, I truly feel that patients with visitors are treated better by the staff. I can't even begin to tell you how many things I've had to correct for my Dad (he wasn't able to communicate well) on a daily basis with the nursing staff. From the type of food he would eat, bi-weekly showers, and even how often his diaper was changed!
Their were exceptions but it seemed that many of the nurses and cna's were short staffed, tired, and overworked. This was the same through the 4 different nursing homes we were at.
I felt good knowing that I could help my Dad even if he wasn't quite all there in my time. He knew he was loved most of the time.
I have my mother, who has dimentia, for dinner every Sunday. She comes early enough to watch a movie she enjoys and have some tea and dessert. About an hour after dinner, my husband drives her back to the nursing home. I go to visit usually once a week, and take lunch got us both to share. I stay for about 4 hours. Every two weeks, I take her out with her walker and go to whatever stores she likes, take her out for dinner, then take her back home. My sister says that I go too often, and stay too long, and that I should not get her USED TO all this time with me. My mom lived with me and my husband for 41 years, by the way. Is my sister right? I don't go because I want to... I go because it makes my mothers life happier. Perhaps my sister is right... I don't know! If I knew the answer.... I would be so much happier! Please be honest! I NEED to know who is right... me or my sister. Please help.
A lot depends on the patient and the visitor if this is something that is working for both of them. My Mom was in the last stage of dementia when she went into long-term-care and could no longer walk or feed herself. My Dad's caregiver would take Dad over to see Mom daily, usually around lunch time so the caregiver could help feed Mom.
Mom would recognize me, but communications was difficult being Mom was now deaf and her eyesight was so poor, she was 97 at the time. My visits were around a half hour as Mom would fall asleep.
Eventually I stopped going daily, I cut it back to every other day. If I was younger, I would have had more energy but I was pushing 70 at the time and still had my career.
Now when my Dad moved into senior living, I use to go there daily as I know everything was life changing for him since my Mom had passed. He still had his caregiver so it wasn't like he was totally alone in a strange place. He loved where he was :) Eventually I cut back to every other day, then once a week on Sunday. A former neighbor in the old neighborhood would also visit him once a week and they would talk old times.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
One thing I can't express enough is when you have a loved one in a nursing home, ask the CNA's or nurses to roll them over, if they are not able of course, and check their body for skin ulcers (bed sores), my Dad had FOUR on his body, one of which was a stage 4. Needless to say, he passed away from sepsis. He was so sick at the end and we did not know why he started pocketing his food. It was because he had an infection in his blood from the sores.
We have a lawsuit pending on this.
TRUST ME, nursing home staff DO NOT care for your loved one like a family member would.
Are you and your mother happy in each other's company or is this a chore ? What does nh staff say about her leaving with you?
My mom 93 is very dependent upon me - since her move to memory care in February I visit her min 3x a week usually at night after work and stay til she's asleep in bed
On Sunday I try to take her to dinner and sometimes a movie
Today I got there at 7 am gave her a shower took for lab work out for breakfast
Back to facility did jigsaw puzzles got her snacks and snuck out during her nap
My brother and sister never visit and if they did it would only be for a short time
I put myself in her shoes - I know how scared and alone she is but I'm exhausted all the time - it's getting to be too much after 9 mos
My mom is now in LTC after being in Assisted Living. The staff starting with the ladies at the front desk all the way to nursing staff are friendly and helpful. They are great with the Residents. I visit Mom once a week and I stay as long as she lets me. If I get there after dinner, she tells me she's tired and ready for bed. If I get there during the day she has some activity to go to so I better go she tells me.
It is still important to her . . . and to me. She still remembers me which helps and she can carry on a conversation, repetitive as it may be.
A friend of mine who is 59 years old is at the same home on the same floor. Although he hardly speaks anymore and walks around in a daze it still helps him to have visits on some level. It doesn't matter that he probably can't remember me, although sometimes he seems to - quality of life should not change just because you're brain isn't up to par anymore.
I am also self employed which really helps.
My advice is to make your decision dependent on what other responsibilities you have and what you feel is best for both of you. I would lean towards what is best for the loved one ;-) no matter how sad it may be.
Here's a really interesting link - http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=125869707 - which validates that visits matter.
Seems inportant to our parents that they know that we are still there for them anyway.
Again hasn't happened and I hope it doesn't, but should it, I will be there as often as possible.
My Father had Parkinson's and Demenia and we had to put him in a Nursing Home about 9 months before he passed away. (We were unable to pick him up if he fell at home.) My Mother and I spent about 3 hours every day with him but we were fortunate to be able to share the responsibility and that made it more tolerable.
Even though we researched and chose the best nursing home we could find, I truly feel that patients with visitors are treated better by the staff. I can't even begin to tell you how many things I've had to correct for my Dad (he wasn't able to communicate well) on a daily basis with the nursing staff. From the type of food he would eat, bi-weekly showers, and even how often his diaper was changed!
Their were exceptions but it seemed that many of the nurses and cna's were short staffed, tired, and overworked. This was the same through the 4 different nursing homes we were at.
I felt good knowing that I could help my Dad even if he wasn't quite all there in my time. He knew he was loved most of the time.
Cathy
Merritt Island, FL
I go to visit usually once a week, and take lunch got us both to share. I stay for about 4 hours. Every two weeks, I take her out with her walker and go to whatever stores she likes, take her out for dinner, then take her back home.
My sister says that I go too often, and stay too long, and that I should not get her USED TO all this time with me. My mom lived with me and my husband for 41 years, by the way. Is my sister right? I don't go because I want to... I go because it makes my mothers life happier. Perhaps my sister is right... I don't know! If I knew the answer.... I would be so much happier! Please be honest! I NEED to know who is right... me or my sister. Please help.
Mom would recognize me, but communications was difficult being Mom was now deaf and her eyesight was so poor, she was 97 at the time. My visits were around a half hour as Mom would fall asleep.
Eventually I stopped going daily, I cut it back to every other day. If I was younger, I would have had more energy but I was pushing 70 at the time and still had my career.
Now when my Dad moved into senior living, I use to go there daily as I know everything was life changing for him since my Mom had passed. He still had his caregiver so it wasn't like he was totally alone in a strange place. He loved where he was :) Eventually I cut back to every other day, then once a week on Sunday. A former neighbor in the old neighborhood would also visit him once a week and they would talk old times.
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