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Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
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You included abusive relationship with your post. Please know you never deserve abuse no matter what’s going on with your husband, and you shouldn’t tolerate it. Let us know what’s going on with him, medical diagnosis or mental health issues or whatever it might be, that’s contributing to his behavior, so better advice can be given. If you have a time you’re scared for your safety, call 911 and ask that he be removed from the home at least temporarily for evaluation
I was set free from this kind of behavior when my husband died in September. He had many things going on physically plus two different kinds of dementia were diagnosed. Many here advised me to to leave him but, because my adult son lives here too, I felt that leaving was not needed. My sister, my daughters, my other son, all frequently reminded me that they had space for me if I needed to escape. I will say that while I lived with the situation, they could all see so much more than I was acknowledging. And I was acknowledging a lot!
You need to make sure you are safe, first of all. And you need to let other family know what is going (I doubt they will be surprised, they probably already know). And you need to get him checked by a doctor. If this is new behavior in the last week or so, then ask for him to be checked for a Urinary Tract Infection.
Please let us know more details. My situation could be 100% different than yours, but someone else here might have walked your path.
My late stepfather had Parkinson’s, including dementia and psychosis. He became verbally abusive to my mom. I never witnessed this behavior, and my mom said that my presence calmed him. Monte and I always had a good relationship, because we both had the vocabulary to communicate with each other, including medical topics.
My mom’s way of dealing with his abusive behavior? Marijuana. She had surreptitiously obtained smoking-style weed and a pipe. Just a few tokes, and she felt relaxed enough to deal with him and get some sleep.
No one has to tolerate abusive treatment. Leave every single time. Retrain him with longer absences if he continues. If he doesn't act civil, it's time for placement. Please set boundaries for your own peace of mind.
When a person is sick, she or he usually does not have the patience to be polite. Many times their social filter drops away and so you get to see the raw, unfiltered personality - all the prejudice, all the pettiness, all the issues that bother the person. Not fun!
Realize that you are not to be the dumping ground, the garbage can, of all their hostility and frustration. A couple ways to deal with it: Consider HALT. H=hungry, feed the person. A=angry give them time to calm down. L=lonely, reassure through your presence or arrange for others to visit. T=tired, encourage them to sleep and try to make sure it is uninterrupted. Consider this is anxiety and frustration. Worrying about the changes or frustrated about changes or unable to understand the changes is at the bottom of this. Simple explanations. Counselling for the mentally competent sufferer to find new ways of expressing frustration. Last resort medication to help person to relax and calm down. Consider that the person is at a point where he or she can only focus on personal wants and needs. Yes, it is selfish and can be very mean-spirited. Reasonable means to meet needs can be tried. If their words and behaviors are wearing you down, it is time for placement in a residential facility.
You need to give us more information, either here or on your profilte. Your age, Dh’s age, both your health situations, options (housing and finances), etc. With so many things to take into consideration, advice or sympathy is very difficult! Please provide more, so that you can get more support. There are many of us here who would like to give you some support.
No info but clear you need to get out If behaviour is physically abusive of just verbal speak to healthcare he either needs to be removed from the house or you do do you gave family members you can speak to dont Suffer in silence speak up abuse main power is the silence of their victims
I am so sorry for the heartbreak you must have gone through. Dementia does very horrible things to our loved ones. There are some medications that do help some people. My mom was put on Lexapro and Aricept. Dosages were increased. She suffered with severe UTIS too. My mom was very hateful towards me. I cried and still cry. I still visit my mom everyday, but she is not the mom I knew for 50 years.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
You need to make sure you are safe, first of all. And you need to let other family know what is going (I doubt they will be surprised, they probably already know). And you need to get him checked by a doctor. If this is new behavior in the last week or so, then ask for him to be checked for a Urinary Tract Infection.
Please let us know more details. My situation could be 100% different than yours, but someone else here might have walked your path.
My mom’s way of dealing with his abusive behavior? Marijuana.
She had surreptitiously obtained smoking-style weed and a pipe. Just a few tokes, and she felt relaxed enough to deal with him and get some sleep.
Realize that you are not to be the dumping ground, the garbage can, of all their hostility and frustration. A couple ways to deal with it:
Consider HALT. H=hungry, feed the person. A=angry give them time to calm down. L=lonely, reassure through your presence or arrange for others to visit. T=tired, encourage them to sleep and try to make sure it is uninterrupted.
Consider this is anxiety and frustration. Worrying about the changes or frustrated about changes or unable to understand the changes is at the bottom of this. Simple explanations. Counselling for the mentally competent sufferer to find new ways of expressing frustration. Last resort medication to help person to relax and calm down.
Consider that the person is at a point where he or she can only focus on personal wants and needs. Yes, it is selfish and can be very mean-spirited. Reasonable means to meet needs can be tried. If their words and behaviors are wearing you down, it is time for placement in a residential facility.
of just verbal speak to healthcare
he either needs to be removed from the house or you do
do you gave family members you can speak to
dont Suffer in silence
speak up
abuse main power is the silence of their victims
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