My mother lived with me for 3 months, and she was talking about living with us for the rest of her life. During that time my sister was convincing my mother not to sign up for Medicaid, not to spend down her money because it would possible pass on to me. All this money would have been saved for her getting care.
Fast forward 1.2 years later, she plans on living with my sister, And most likely sell her house and all the money will pass on to my sister.
My sister has basically tried everything to sabotage my arrangements with my mother. What’s worse is her advice will basically ruin her financially. I’m at a loss for words, all that matters is her care but I feel I’ve been treated poorly by both of them. This has made me realize I’ve been the scapegoat of their abusive all my life. I refused to speak with my sister anymore, and I’ve decided to limit my mothers calls to once a week. Any advice is appreciated.
all mean/toxic people all over the world, tend to do exactly the same thing. doesn't matter what country, gender, age...
(and if mother/father is toxic, very likely at least 1 of the adult children is toxic, too. copycat).
:)
some notes i have compiled to help me:
---words from isthisrealyreal:
..."you don't get to vomit this all over me”
..."it is tough having a child devouring mother”
---words from me:
...eat-pray-love
...more accurately perhaps: eat-prey-love
...be careful not to be prey
...if you don’t fit in, then you’re probably doing the right thing
...toxic people sometimes accuse others (innocent) (example: scapegoat sibling) of being toxic.
---
more words from me, i wrote to everyone on the website a few days ago:
dear everyone :),
have an awesome day :).
1.
AND this message is to give warmth and beautiful (use imagination; your favorite colors) flowers, to everyone here helping their elderly LOs. (for people not so into flowers: here is fresh beer).
some people, on the contrary, receive totally undeserved screaming/blame/criticism, day in, day out.
wash it out of your mind.
and replace with here:
warmth and a huuge number of flowers.
hug!
2.
AND here is double the warmth + flowers, as soon as you manage to also rescue your own life (decreasing stress, being doubly kind to yourself, because your ‘self-care cup’ needs double filling).
:)
bundle of joy :)