
My Mom of 88 is in rehab going into long term care and my sister keeps calling and begging her even after she told her no it is illegal to buy food for her with her snap card. She has also threatened her to call the police on Mom because of she gave one of her neighbors one pill of her medicine. Because the person needed something for pain. I don't think Mom realized it was against the law to do so. At her age she probably didn't think nothing of it. Even though it is. She also is telling Mother that I am going to jail because I'm using Mother's money and snap. I don't use either unless mother needs food or other things. Mother calls her bank and finds out about her own account. I have no access to her account. She trusts me and I will not or ever have misused her money or snap. She also tells her that she is going to have me arrested because of throwing her food out of the refrigerator at moms apartment when we went to clean out the apartment under the manager agreement. She is accusing us throwing out 150 dollars of food and their was nothing in there but a pack of ham opened ham, opened cheese, one qt milk, one qt coffee creamer half used and one qt buttermilk and some condiments that were almost empty that we threw out. Sister was not paying rent and was already told by manager to leave. Do I need to talk with the social worker and explain the situation? Mom is afraid for her to come in the facility where she is.
Tell the facility to disallow calls and visits from sister.
Speak with the social worker also to alert her to the abusive behavior from the daughter.
Shame on her.
Mom should inform the rehab and the ltc that she doesn’t wish to see sister. Sister may in fact disappear herself as it becomes clear that mom will no longer be able to unofficially share her public housing, food, drug or other benefits with anyone. Every penny of mom’s income minus 50-100 for haircuts and toiletries will go to the home. In fact, you may as well tell sister that has happened already and that the card has been canceled.
Mom told the manager of the apartment she would not be back to live in the apartment anymore. She gave us permission to clean her things out and also the Manager. That's why We cleaned it out. Mom will not tell anyone how sister treats her or report her. Mom has been under this abuse for years and we have not done anything because mom thinks something bad will happen to sister. Sister is blocked on my phone, we do not talk, because of her abusive behavior. I won't tolerate it. All of the processing will take a least another month during that time mom is still in control of her bank account.
You can get your Mom's permission to "temporarily" block your sister on her phone.
You can discuss getting a restraining order on sister.
If you aren't her PoA then you won't be able to ask the facility to block her visits.
You Mom needs to know that she has "loved" her daughter into dependance but that it's not too late for a little "tough love" to get her detached.