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My uncle with ALZ & Parkinsons, is still at home with my aunt. He cannot be left alone due to serious short term memory loss and instability. My aunt is full time caregiver and 3 of us show up PT to give her respite breaks. When we step in to cover her, he gets upset and insists he doesn't "need a babysitter." He is very angry (with her, not us) that he cannot have time alone, and rants about this for some time after she leaves. We know not to argue, but i'ts taking longer to cool his anger. The fact that he doesn’t think he has a problem, is a very big problem.

Your aunt should contact his doctor(s) immediately for medication to calm down his anger and agitation. This is not a safe situation for her or for the rest of you, especially with it escalating, and it's also not a pleasant mindset and mood for him to have to live with.
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Reply to MG8522
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Just tell your uncle that you're doing this for your aunt and not him, as she just feels better knowing that he's being looked after while she's away so she can actually enjoy herself without having to worry about him.
Sadly you cannot reason with someone with a broken brain, so best to not even try.
Some kind of calming medication may be helpful prior to your aunt leaving, but there are no guarantees.
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Reply to funkygrandma59
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Maybe change the strategy: show up and take him out for a drive (or an errand) while your Aunt is still home. Then return home and find your Aunt is also "out running errands" then stay and hang out with him saying you want to see your Aunt too, so will wait till she gets back home.

Dementia care requires creativity and preemptive strategy.

Your uncle probably needs meds for his anxiety/depression. What is your Aunt's sustainable plan for this situation? Surely she doesn't expect everyone else to orbit around them just because she doesn't want to deal with his anger? For example: she can *hire* someone to come weekly on the pretense they are cleaning the house, then she slips out for a few hours.
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Reply to Geaton777
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His agitation needs to be addressed with his doctor, using the patient portal to describe his behaviors. He likely needs medication to calm him before it turns violent, don’t underestimate the potential that your aunt may not be safe living with him
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Reply to Daughterof1930
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