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I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
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VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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The rest of the post was deleted before I got here, but if it is your home it is okay to say no. I get it can be hard especially when you want to be kind but if it is effecting your mental health, then you also need to be firm. Mental health can unravel quickly and you do deserve some privacy. I don't know your whole story, but if anyone is involved in drugs I would especially be leery of letting them stay at your place. As for ill loved ones, the merry-go-round won't end until they find some help. For your sake, I would not let anyone else move in.
Mark , your story is deleted but you mentioned being depressed having suicidal thoughts at times and wanting to run from this situation. The suicide hotline is 988. Please seek a therapist for help . You also could go stay in an extended stay hotel for 30 days until they get out . Also seek advice from a divorce lawyer . We recently had a young married man feeling similarly trapped in his home with his mother in law and his wife had promised to take care of her mother . He was in therapy and was able to make a decision about his situation . You do have choices . Good Luck .
I would love to know where all the information is coming from, I can;t find anything on the profile? Or in the post? The question just has an "H" in it?
I think the problem here is that although you keep saying no your wife keeps saying yes. If this is destroying your life to the point you are contemplating ending it then I suggest that ending your marriage is a better option. Your dream house is in reality your prison but ultimately you hold the keys - walk away and find a new life for yourself.
Don't give people any reasons for the "no" or they will negotiate and try to break down your boundary. You must defend it.
Just "No, I don't want anyone in my house anymore for any reason. Period. Get out in 30 days or get evicted."
Don't worry about how they'll react, what they'll think of you or where there will live after they leave. Don't accept any stalling or excuses or pity story.
This sounds like a totally untenable situation! I'd (generously) give "everyone" 30 days to find their own lodgings. YOUR house should be yours to live in as YOU wish. You do not owe anyone except minor children free room and board in your home. Other arrangements should be at your option.
I'm Christian too and there's no way in hell any freeloaders are moving in with me! I hate when the "Christian" wording is used, as if we're supposed to be doormats for everyone and their brother in law!! And if we're not, we'll be smote down or relegated to the fiery depths or something 🙄.. The word NO is not a sin, folks!!
Do not take in anymore relatives , including the ill one in the hospital. She will have to be placed in a facility . And why on earth would the sister in law who just lost her daughter need to move in with you ?
Again do not take in anymore relatives . Those that are currently in your home get a 30 day notice to get out . If your wife has a problem with this try marriage counseling to have your wife see this is not fair to you . Your wife should explore with a therapist why she feels the need to take in these people .
You need to take care of you . You should speak to a therapist individually as well . If these people do not leave or your wife does not see it your way, then quietly go to a divorce lawyer to see the best steps to be free of this . It is effecting your mental health .
You are working 2 jobs to support able-bodied adults....while they are laughing all the way to the bank, behind your back? You let these losers use your car? Why do I have the feeling they don't put gas in it?
Here's an idea that may wake you up: Get a sheet of paper, make 2 columns. In one column, write down what you've done for these people. In the other column, write down what they have done for YOU.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
But sadly I think you need to start with your wife if I get your story correctly.
Practice these words, over and over again until you memorize it!
Best of luck to you!
your story is deleted but you mentioned being depressed having suicidal thoughts at times and wanting to run from this situation. The suicide hotline is 988.
Please seek a therapist for help . You also could go stay in an extended stay hotel for 30 days until they get out . Also seek advice from a divorce lawyer .
We recently had a young married man feeling similarly trapped in his home with his mother in law and his wife had promised to take care of her mother . He was in therapy and was able to make a decision about his situation . You do have choices .
Good Luck .
Period.
End of sentence.
Keep saying it.
Don't give people any reasons for the "no" or they will negotiate and try to break down your boundary. You must defend it.
Just "No, I don't want anyone in my house anymore for any reason. Period. Get out in 30 days or get evicted."
Don't worry about how they'll react, what they'll think of you or where there will live after they leave. Don't accept any stalling or excuses or pity story.
Just no.
How about "y'all need to move out in 2 weeks".
Being Christian doesn't mean you have to condescend to others and be taken advantage of.
You are being used....big time. Stop this nonsense. It is up to you, life is too short to be miserable!
The B*ll is in your court, handle this before it gets even worse....and it will....since they all know that you are weak and very codependent.
Again do not take in anymore relatives . Those that are currently in your home get a 30 day notice to get out . If your wife has a problem with this try marriage counseling to have your wife see this is not fair to you . Your wife should explore with a therapist why she feels the need to take in these people .
You need to take care of you . You should speak to a therapist individually as well . If these people do not leave or your wife does not see it your way, then quietly go to a divorce lawyer to see the best steps to be free of this . It is effecting your mental health .
You are working 2 jobs to support able-bodied adults....while they are laughing all the way to the bank, behind your back? You let these losers use your car?
Why do I have the feeling they don't put gas in it?
Here's an idea that may wake you up:
Get a sheet of paper, make 2 columns. In one column, write down what you've done for these people. In the other column, write down what they have done for YOU.