My husband wets his pants and refuses to change clothes. He says things like "they're almost dry now" even though the pants are soaked. He sits on the bed and on upholstered furniture in the wet pants. If I try to get him to put on dry clothes he gets very load and angry.
First I'd put a mattress protector pad on the the upholstered furniture he is likely to sit on. (And several on the bed, too, even on top of the spread once the bed is made.)
Try not to argue with him. "Yes, I can see that they are drying. But they still smell bad. You deserve to look dignified and smell nice, and I don't mind washing clothes often. Let's get you cleaned up and smelling fresh!"
Does he not wear disposable undies? Do they leak? How often does he wet his pants? For now, solve the immediate problem with wet proof furniture pads and gentle coaxing. But ultimately the issue is that if he is incontinent he needs to use incontinence supplies. Why isn't that happening now?
Also if he takes water pill (diuretic) incontinence brief may be helpful.
She has a UTI (just recently diagnosed) and is taking meds. All I have to say is, you have an infection and need to be kept dry and clean.
1 Check with doc - I know there are some meds suitable but they may also have an incontinence nurse who could help you stop the future problem
2 Establish a routine whereby he goes and sits on the toilet every hour or so depending on his needs agaion wont sort the past but will help in the future
3 I have a bucket heavily laced with zoflora into which I drop all soiled clothing (i do clean faecal matter slightly differently - will explain at the end
4 In future you have 2 choices cheap cheerful and throw away or cotton - all cotton which you can steep in disinfectant without too much damage and boil which will kill all the bacteria
5. I have used vinegar sometimes it clears the smell sometimes not - I found you need quite a lot and you need to leave it for quite some time
6. White vinegar works best in COLD water soak overnight then wash with washing soda - probably works best but the soaking does make the area smell like a fish and chip shop (Im a Brit remember..... we have these)
6 I have heard borax works well but never used it
7 Washing soda works relatively well
The best method for really bad smelling clothes you simply cant get clean is to throw them away I am afraid
Right faecal matter - I know this may gross some of you out but it is a trick I learned when Ihad babies with towelling diapers. I hang the said item into the loo and then flush it the flushing momentum seems to take the worst of it away (might need several flushes if extraordinarily bad. then I soak in something like washing soda which has a water softener in it or milton which is a mild bleach - always cold water or you will increase the smell tenfold (or at least it seems like you do (I use a lidded bucket to prevent odor release into the soaking area) I leave it overnight then sluice the worst of in the toilet again then wash it in washing soda and use about a cup in your language of vinegar in the rinse - seems to do the trick
If night time is bad and it has been from time to time then I agree with a previous writer use disposable draw sheets they are easy to use and stop all smells from developing - the main thing is you have to get those clothes off quickly - the longer they stay on the worse the smell gets and as to that little problem (Little who am I kidding) the only way is to get him on that toilet and just pull them off him if you can and if he will let you do that safely - if not then seek advice hun because you have to sort it sooner rather than later for your own sanity
You are right about having to take charge and make adjustments, but that does not mean eliminating struggle with the recalcitrant one, whether a 3 year old or 94 year old, and in either case each day can bring new challenges that need to be handled differently. In either case, we learn as we go along and we seek advice from others in similar situations.
Not trying to chase you away from here, just a reminder to be more gentle with those who are already on the edge with our thankless caregiving tasks and the only relief in sight being our loved one's eventual demise.
P.S. About that "grow a pair" quote: a pair of what, breasts? Most of us in caregiving are women and we already have a pair of those, thank you very much!
Look forward to reading ideas later!
My husband is incontinent after a prostatectomy but does take care of his own sanitation. He uses the grey epends that look exactly like regular underwear. i would sugest to others with difficult male loved ones to remove all regular underwear from their drawers and replace with piles of Depends out of the packet so they have no choice. getting them to change them is another issue. I think it is a control issue as everyone gets olds. so many things they are not able to control and resent a child or spouse telling them what to do. how many times have we heard and angry voice say "Don't tell ME what to do" Even if it was a gentle reminder, oh "And don't use that tone of voice with me" of course there is another problem because some old men actually are ready to take that shower when the aide arrives and produce as we say with a stallion their fifth leg Some aides get all upset and file a complaint but the experienced ones just turn on the cold water. With horses a touch of the whip does the trick
We put two mattress toppers on my grans bed that way is she has any sort of a mess I can quickly pull the whole set off and slap a fresh set of sheets on. We keep extra blankets and comforter as well.
I think they still make those god awful plastic chair covers. We use an old one my gran had for her couch. And you can get couch covers that have a plastic backing (again sold for dogs) helps keep the smell down. Best of luck!
in my case he was so bad, he would attack my choice of clothes and call me ugly, and that outfit makes me look like a whore, or an ugly dyke. Some times, you just cant do anything. Just know your doing your best!
Btw, when he went into the memory care home, the first thing i did was call the amvets to haul out our old couch that he started sleeping on the last three months he was here. The urine smell on that thing would have made any one run for the hills!!!! Now if i could get the cat urine off the bed that our cat peed on after he left!! Missed her daddy ((