Follow
Share
You need to get caregiving relief. Have you ever contact social services for your county? Your husband may qualify for an Elder Waiver to provide in-home aids (it won't be more than a few hours a week, but better than nothing). They can also provide other services, like light housekeeping, food prep and hygiene help.

OR

Consider getting your husband assessed for LTC at a facility. If he also qualifies financially, then his care will be 100% covered by Medicaid (for his medical care) and custodial care (by most but not all of his SS income). As the spouse, him being on Medicaid would not impoverish you.

Then you will have your life back and you can go visit him as much as you wish. Once you have time you can slowly go out and "shop" for new hobbies and friends.

Blessings to you!
Helpful Answer (1)
Reply to Geaton777
Report

Start slowly to make a life for yourself. You may want to start with hobbies at home. Sewing, knitting, sketching, painting, making earrings? Anything that brings peace and pleasure.

Slowly move out in the world. Check out your local libraries. Mine have many many programs and classes. Check out your local senior centers. I am an atheist, but I myself, in a situation where I was desperate to meet people, might join a Unitarian or other Church for the community it provides.

Try to think out of the box of those things that bring you pleasure. Many find pleasure in volunteering in Animal Shelters, libraries, and etc.; helping others builds our own esteem enormously.

You might consider a good cognitive therapist in an effort to explore some small steps forward for yourself. I wish you the very best of luck; you are unlikely to change hubby, so share those few things you can with him, meals, reading, TV programs, and make your own life around him.
Helpful Answer (2)
Reply to AlvaDeer
Report

If you are religious, get involved with a local house of worship. That might provide more support as well.
Helpful Answer (1)
Reply to YaYa79
Report
JoAnn29 Oct 14, 2025
My Mom belonged to a Church for over 50 yrs. I was a member too. When I was taking care of her, I got no calls from my minister to see how she was. The womans group visited every so often, but no one asked if I needed someone to sit with Mom so I could run errands or just to get out.
(1)
Report
Do you have friends that you can invite to your home to have a morning coffee group? Call it a "Book Club" if you want.
Get together 1 time a week or every 2 weeks, whatever works.
Check with your local Senior Center and find out if there are any programs that would help provide a caregiver that could stay with your husband while you get out.
Maybe there is an Adult Day Program that he could attend.
If your husband is a Veteran Look he may qualify for benefits through the VA. Contact your local Veterans Assistance Commission or your States Department of Veterans Affairs or your closest VA any of these can help determine if he qualifies for benefits.
Helpful Answer (1)
Reply to Grandma1954
Report

Ask a Question
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter