My mom is 100. I invited her to move in with me when she was 90 and my dad passed away. She had vision problems and had fallen several times. I figured it would be for a few years and I could handle that. Well it’s been 11 years now and at 101 it could be several more. I had cancer while she was here, and really don’t know how much time I have left. I resent her longevity and worry I will never get to enjoy my not so golden age. I try to hint that she should consider assisted living, but she says I have to “tell” her when I don’t want her here anymore, which of course I can’t do. I feel like I can’t breathe anymore. I can’t stand the looks she gives me when she doesn’t approve of something I do. I resent her budding in when my granddaughter is over. I can’t make her understand boundaries, physical and mental. I know no one can really give me any advice but if I don’t tell someone how I feel I’m going to scream. btw, I am alone taking care of her. No living sibling. All my responsibility. It’s too much and she can’t seem to get it.
Tell her that you want her to move to AL because you need to have your place to yourself again after everything you've been through.
Be honest when you tell her you need your home and your health back. You don’t say your age, but if your mom is 101…. Bless you, you’ve got to take care of you now.
Just do it. You'll be happy once you're on the other side of this. You have nothing to feel guilty for, either. By caring for her in your home for 10+ years, you've already done more than the vast majority of us!!!
Good luck!
Regarding placing, I think now is fine. Yes there are different variants, and there always will be. But most residents in these senior communities are vaccinated. Yes people can still get sick, but not as bad, if vaccinated.
You need to think of your health too.
Have the talk, be supportive, show some brochures. It's a difficult challenge, but your future is counting on you.
This might, however, not be the best (safest) time for a move for her to more communal living.
Can you start by getting away, yourself, to ease your burnout? You may be happy(ier) to see her when you return.
Pick two that she can choose.