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By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
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mother is almost 98. I don't want anything to do with picking out a casket or anything of this nature. I want nothing to do with it. She has had more than enough time to get her affairs in order. How to ensure that I do not have to be involved.
Are you the Executor of her estate? If not, then you won't be expected to. If someone else is her Executor, then inform that person that you're not to be contacted for that info.
If your Mom doesn't have anyone else to do it, you'll have to inform her facility (if she's in one). If she's still in her own home and has no Executor, then just have her cremated. It's much cheaper and you don't have to pick out anything "fancy". You don't have to keep the ashes, either.
Also, if anyone contacts you about needing this info, then just tell them you're not going to do it. You are under no obligation to be the decision-maker.
She's not in a facility yet altho she supposedly is going to go to a nursing home. Whether she does is anyone's guess. We are estranged. She doesn't have an executor of her estate so far as I know. She doesn't have anything. She did send me a note a while back (something she wants done), but I don't want anything to do with this, I want nothing to do with her. I highly doubt she has pre-paid for a burial. I don't want to be on the hook for this, either. She has money enough to pay.
I'm with ya on that, luckily my brother is the POA, I will help if asked, do what I have to do respect my mothers wishes.
Burials are actually rather disturbing to me, to think my loved ones are in the ground , just gives me nightmares, I'm a cremation kinda person. But you have to respect there wishes. Just as I want mine respected.
As far as a 98 yr old making there own plans, they absolutely should, but they just DON'T, for whatever reason. It is what it is
As for me, everyone knows, I am donating my body to science, and they will , cremate me at no cost.
And I want no sad memorial , I'm only 60. So haven't gotten much farther than that, but I don't want a sad memorial, I want a celebration of the life I've lived.
My mother was angry that we told her she had to preplan . She wanted her kids to pay for it all . She relented and said to just do a copycat of my father’s funeral
Perhaps whoever has POA can at least prepay a cremation with Mom’s money . If your mother decides to plan , then change the plans and the cremation money goes towards it . At least this way it’s already paid for before her death .
An Executor cannot do anything until Probate is filed and that can't be done until at least 10 days after death. Then Probate Oks the Executor and gives them a short certificate so they can deal with the banks, etc.
Me, Mom had a Medicaid burial trust where I put her insurance money, I had to cash in. I set up everything then. Asked what coffin she had for Dad and went with that.
You do not have to do anything. You are not responsible in any way. If asked what you want to do after her death, just tell the funeral director to cremate her. They will need to wait for payment until probate is settled. You will not be allowed the ashes until the bill is paid. I am sure that funeral homes are used to waiting for Probate or an insurance pay out before they are paid. My Ex sat on a shelf at funeral home until his Sister finally paid the bill 4 yrs after his death.
If Mom has no Will she dies intestate. You or a lawyer, can become her Administrator with all the responsibility of the Executor. Difference being, the State determines who inherits. If you are an only child, then you get what remains of her estate. I would go with a lawyer allowing them the % allowed for an Executor so I would not have to deal with anything.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
If your Mom doesn't have anyone else to do it, you'll have to inform her facility (if she's in one). If she's still in her own home and has no Executor, then just have her cremated. It's much cheaper and you don't have to pick out anything "fancy". You don't have to keep the ashes, either.
Also, if anyone contacts you about needing this info, then just tell them you're not going to do it. You are under no obligation to be the decision-maker.
Burials are actually rather disturbing to me, to think my loved ones are in the ground , just gives me nightmares, I'm a cremation kinda person. But you have to respect there wishes. Just as I want mine respected.
As far as a 98 yr old making there own plans, they absolutely should, but they just DON'T, for whatever reason. It is what it is
As for me, everyone knows, I am donating my body to science, and they will , cremate me at no cost.
And I want no sad memorial , I'm only 60. So haven't gotten much farther than that, but I don't want a sad memorial, I want a celebration of the life I've lived.
Perhaps whoever has POA can at least prepay a cremation with Mom’s money . If your mother decides to plan , then change the plans and the cremation money goes towards it . At least this way it’s already paid for before her death .
Me, Mom had a Medicaid burial trust where I put her insurance money, I had to cash in. I set up everything then. Asked what coffin she had for Dad and went with that.
You do not have to do anything. You are not responsible in any way. If asked what you want to do after her death, just tell the funeral director to cremate her. They will need to wait for payment until probate is settled. You will not be allowed the ashes until the bill is paid. I am sure that funeral homes are used to waiting for Probate or an insurance pay out before they are paid. My Ex sat on a shelf at funeral home until his Sister finally paid the bill 4 yrs after his death.
If Mom has no Will she dies intestate. You or a lawyer, can become her Administrator with all the responsibility of the Executor. Difference being, the State determines who inherits. If you are an only child, then you get what remains of her estate. I would go with a lawyer allowing them the % allowed for an Executor so I would not have to deal with anything.
If you don't wish to be involved simply say so.
If there is, however, no one else, your mother will be taken by the county and basically "disposed of" which will be out of your control.
No one is going to hold a gun to your head to do anything. You are free to not do anything because you aren’t her PoA or her executor.
Look, I get it! It sounds like you are sick and tired of being sick and tired. So stop trying to argue with an irrational woman. You will NEVER win!
Don’t allow yourself to be an audience for her dramatic performances. She can either do a solo act without an audience or shut up.
Walk away. Be at peace. Don’t allow her to own a piece of your heart and soul before or after she dies.
Best wishes to you.