The caregiver and her mother are tag teaming 24-hr care for my mother. I hired them from an agency. I live there, too. I loaned her money and she now wants me to be here child's godmother. She's only been in our home for 3 months. Should I be concerned?
she sounds like she’s taking advantage of your good nature. No one should be asking to loan money from you and especially a. Care Worker - and one who you haven’t a long history with. I think you need to change her -actually - don’t wait change her Now!!! And consider the money lost - doubt. you’ll get it back.
get her out asap- she’s def a scammer
it may not stop then god parent they might expect more bebefits
id say you’re flattered and spite hate the gesture but you take that role very seriously and need to know people longer
if they ask fur anymore money
its
no!
you haven’t got it
nit saying they are aiming to take advantage of your good nature but I think you shd protect yourself once they are
woman in work years ago suffered a long time before she told us all
she moved - nice couple next door knocked - we e made you a salad you must be tired in the move
thx given wot nice people
next day a knock
them again
Hi
weve come for dinner!!
This continued fir a few weeks daily until she broke down upset telling us
and they were sent packing
there are a lot of not so good people out there looking fur a kind heart
be careful
ecen if they are genuine -who asks to borrow money from someone they’ve only just recently become wanted to if ever- send them packing
At least without a signed note of payback.
If she does not pay you back you need to inform the agency. This may be against agency policy. (could be construed as financial elder abuse.)
I would refuse to be the child's godparent. You are not her friend. She is not your friend. You are her employer (yes I know she is employed by the agency but you get my drift)
BOUNDRIES.
You are paying for a service? Is it private pay? If it is private pay, that means you are paying for services and forking out additional money to someone you think is honest? It doesn't sound like integrity to me. It sounds like a scam.
I get finding a suitable caregiver is nearly impossible, be careful of one asking for money.
Are they both bonded and insured? Whenever I start thinking about finding one for my wife I get this visual in my head of my office security camera showing them rifling my file cabinets while I'm gone.
It's a tough call but use your gut instinct, only you can.
The client or their representatives have to actually do a minuscule amout of work and research themselves about what homecare agency they may use or what caregivers they may hire privately. Everyone has a computer today so it's up to the consumer to do a little bit of work themselves in choosing who they let in their homes.
Also, when you have people coming into your home to work, you secure valuables. You get locks on cabinets.
We have a cleaning lady who comes in for us. I knew this woman for a long time. I still don't leave my checkbook, or credit cards, or the pearl and diamond suite my husband gave me as a wedding gift out on the counter. Common sense.
You don't want your filing cabinets rifled though at home if you're not there?
Lock them. Then put them into another room and lock the door. You can have a space that is off-limits to a caregiver or housekeeper that you lock.
Forgive me if I speak plainly, but please use your brain and think for a minute.
Does it make sense to you that a reputable homecare agency would send a mother and daughter caregiving team to move into a private home and work a 24-hour assignment? Some illegal, fly by night agency would do this. A reputable one would not. I own a homecare agency and I would not allow this for one second. We do not even provide 'live-in' care. We'll provide 24-hour care, but none of my caregivers live in a client's home and make it their official residence. No way. Some agencies do live-in, I do not.
Drop this agency immediately and find a reputable one. Or hire a couple of private-duty caregivers from a caregiver website that you can interview and check out personally.
Fire these two and the agency they work for at once immediately.
Curious, you mentioned you hired these women from an Agency. Do you pay the women directly or do you pay the Agency? Is the Agency licensed, insured and bonded?
If you pay the women directly, make sure you purchase Workman's Comp insurance for in case one or both women get hurt on the job (easy when lifting someone). Said comp insurance can be purchased through your homeowner's insurance carrier.
A definite "no" to being the Godmother. Who knows how many others are also the child's Godmother.
- thank you!
No problem in liking your aide and showing appreciation. But agency aides are not allowed to borrow money or take gifts from clients. I would watch these two. They are waiting for you to become comfortable with them, then you are going to start missing things. She is going to ask if its OK to bring the baby to work. This is a no no. I am sure the agency would not allow it. Ask for another loan, "Sorry, not until the first loan is paid back".
Really, now that you have been warned, you need to be more alert. But if it was me, the first time she asked for a loan, I would have reported her.
I did chime in on this. I would not allow two family members to EVER share a case. NEVER. No reputable homecare establishent would.
I will say, I have learned the hard way to keep a polite distance from new people until I get to know them. I've had to learn the hard way. If we get a new neighbor, I keep a friendly distance.
I need to know people know and get to know a lot more about them before I get to chummy, with anyone. And if someone comes across to strong , that is a red flag for me
I took a walk with someone, I hardly new, and she was like, oh, your my new best friend, it really creeped me out. So that was the last walk we had.
I also keep my distance from new people so they get to know me , and my rules of friendship. I can't stand when a friend takes over my life and stops in all the time. I've been friends with people that completely consumed my life, and I had to dump them , because they just couldn't understand that , that is not the type of friendship I wanted.
So I'll just say, this for me would be all to fast.
The way to handle this is by firing them by reporting them to your agency.
Oh, and bringing in a third (or fourth) caregiver might be a good idea too, that way you have someone else to rely on should things go wrong.
Also, you should be hiding your Mom's sensitive information and valuables, like checkbooks, jewelry, cash, credit and debit cards, passwords, SSN, house deed/title, passport, prescription medications, etc. You should put a credit freeze on your Mom's accounts (she doesn't need credit anymore, anyway). Buy a fireproof safe where you can lock it all up in a closet and it's too heavy to run away with it.
You know, being a godparent is a very special honor in many cultures.
I am Sicilian. My godfather (patrone) always looked after me. Better than my own father and did so until he died. I have three godchildren of my own that I look after special as well.
Don't be judgmental about your uncle taking being a godfather seriously. Don't put a nasty and shameful spin on it either about him having 'fallen' for his own goddaughter. That's disgusting.
And I would venture to guess that if your caregivers agency found out that she asked to borrow money from you that she would be fired immediately.
She definitely crossed the ethical line by doing that.
I would definitely be concerned, and you may want to request different caregivers if not from the same agency then another.