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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
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Oh I have that feeling every time I see those ads on TV ! The wonderful happy clean engaged elder, the happy family surrounding them,,, eating with no mess, watching TV at a normal volume. you know,, the ALZ dream.
It's a little presumptuous of you isn't it, poodledoodle? Assuming the OP was forced into being her MIL's caregiver, husband 0 contribution, OP 100%, and no one's slave? The OP doesn't offer any circumstances regarding her caregiving.
Caregiving takes many forms. To some, the task may be rewarding. To most, the task is demanding, physically and mentally exhausting, emotionally overwhelming. Long term caregiving can result in frustration, anxiety, exhaustion, anger, depression, etc., etc., for the caregiver. Any of that sound rewarding? Caregiving is not for the faint of heart. To those who feel caring for their LO (or even their MIL) is a rewarding endeavor, I applaud your resilience, your commitment, your concern for the well-being of others.
To the OP, know your limit of caregiving... are you there? If, indeed, you are the sole caregiver, you are not obligated to care for your MIL. If she is not able to care for herself, however, I think there is some RESPONSIBILTY, to insure she receives proper care. Evaluate your options.
Ask yourself why you are doing this. Look closely at what benefits now and in the future this may entail and to whom.
For instance, do you live with them? That will be total hell if so. You are literally providing $200K of services to this person just so you two can sleep there? Hon a Super 8 efficiency apartment is better.
If she's living with you and sucking your family's resources, now is the time to tell DH that it really is either HER or YOU and any children you might have. If generosity to her is affecting your children's college fund or your joint retirement, time to apply for Medicaid. It's not your fault that she didn't prepare to have enough money (and it may not be her fault either), but in any case there's just not enough and you can't do $200K or even $100K for free.
I took care of my mother. I did not find it rewarding at all. It was a lot of work with no support from my siblings and no thanks. I did not treasure that time. She was uncooperative and demanding. I got no thanks or appreciation for my efforts.
It's not even her mother. And if she kicks off, technically it won't even be her inheritance in the state where I live. I would just tell DH I'm not doing it and I'm leaving her house if she is there, or make her leave yours if she is there. You can help by placing her or offering her resources, but you don't have to offer $200K of services to this leech.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
You made me laugh :).
Poodle Doodle
Caregiving takes many forms. To some, the task may be rewarding. To most, the task is demanding, physically and mentally exhausting, emotionally overwhelming. Long term caregiving can result in frustration, anxiety, exhaustion, anger, depression, etc., etc., for the caregiver. Any of that sound rewarding? Caregiving is not for the faint of heart. To those who feel caring for their LO (or even their MIL) is a rewarding endeavor, I applaud your resilience, your commitment, your concern for the well-being of others.
To the OP, know your limit of caregiving... are you there? If, indeed, you are the sole caregiver, you are not obligated to care for your MIL. If she is not able to care for herself, however, I think there is some RESPONSIBILTY, to insure she receives proper care. Evaluate your options.
I didn’t assume any forcing.
We don’t know any of the facts.
I said “probably”.
Have a nice Sunday :).
We’ll all trying to help each other.
Poodle Doodle :)
For instance, do you live with them? That will be total hell if so. You are literally providing $200K of services to this person just so you two can sleep there? Hon a Super 8 efficiency apartment is better.
If she's living with you and sucking your family's resources, now is the time to tell DH that it really is either HER or YOU and any children you might have. If generosity to her is affecting your children's college fund or your joint retirement, time to apply for Medicaid. It's not your fault that she didn't prepare to have enough money (and it may not be her fault either), but in any case there's just not enough and you can't do $200K or even $100K for free.
'
I understand. I’m sure it’s very tough.
Part of the problem is that it’s not your mother. You’re caring for your husband’s mother.
Also: you were probably forced into this. Your husband probably contributes 0, you 100%.
Please find a good solution.
You’re no one’s slave.
Poodle Doodle