Follow
Share

I have been living with the since Sept. I am married and this is causing a lot of strain on our marriage. We live in the same town and my siblings all live 700 miles away. I have no support team. If I take him to my home a different environment will cause additional stress yet my husband will not move to myparents home which is one level with large baths and doorways. My husband’s daughter (28yrs.) also lives with us in our 3 bed 2 bath home. My father will have to share her small bathroom and his bedroom at my house is nursery size. Any advice would be welcomed.

Find Care & Housing
Your husband shouldn't have to move into your dads home as he didn't marry your dad, he married you. Nor should your dad ever move into your home.
If your dad can no longer care for himself, then truly it's time for him to be placed into an assisted living facility or skilled nursing if needed where he will be looked after 24/7, and where you can get back to being the wife your husband deserves.
And if money is an issue you can apply for Medicaid for your dad.
This sounds more like a marriage problem than anything else, so if you're not happy in your marriage perhaps you need some marriage counseling or perhaps even a divorce.
Spouses must ALWAYS come before the care of any parent. Period, end of sentence.
Helpful Answer (4)
Reply to funkygrandma59
Report
lealonnie1 Mar 15, 2026
Perhaps the 28 year old daughter should move out since Ops husband thinks it's fine she live with them, but not fine Op have dad move in.
(4)
Report
Its probably time for your dad to be placed in Skilled Nursing care with hospice on board and for you to visit him there instead of living with him. However, why is it ok for a 28 year old step daughter to be living with You? Isn't it time she's on her own now? I'm sure she has a decent reason for needing to live with parents, but you have a decent reason for dad living with you too. Marriage is all about compromise and not one person making all the rules.

Best of luck to you and my condolences on the loss of your dear mom.
Helpful Answer (4)
Reply to lealonnie1
Report

Your husband and marriage are the priority. There are other solutions for your Dad, but you must accept them as such. Maybe it's time to assess your Dad for palliative or hospice care plus use his funds for hired aids. If you get pressure from your siblings then invite them to move there to take over the care. No, your Dad won't like it but that's too bad. Your and your husband's privacy is already compromised by having your adult daughter living there. He's already endured you being gone during your Mom's PC. He's been patient enough. Time to get your marriage back on track as job #1.
Helpful Answer (4)
Reply to Geaton777
Report

You need to move back to your home and resume your marriage. Your father can pay for in-home caregivers, or if he cannot afford this he can sell his home to pay to live in a facility. Then you can resume life as a daughter who visits rather than an overstressed 24/7 caregiver.

You must be both exhausted and grieving, so having trained professionals take over the physical care, plus being back with your husband in your own home, are probably essential for both your physical and mental health.
Helpful Answer (4)
Reply to MG8522
Report

It's time to place your dad in a care home and sell his home to fund his final months/years. He is blind and has cancer. He needs a safe place to live where professionals can care for him. You and your husband can then go on a trip and reconnect.
Helpful Answer (3)
Reply to JustAnon
Report

Ask a Question
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter