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I have posted here before about other issues regarding my MIL and I have another doozy about grocery shopping. When we first moved in together, we all shared grocery expenses right before she retired. She told us she was going to buy and cook her own food from then on. This week she asked my husband if she could ride along with us to Walmart as we were going to pick up a few things so she came with us and we did our separate shopping trips my husband and I used self-check-out and she went to a regular check out, as we were leaving the store she says, I can't believe neither the person who checked me out and the greater here aren't very good at their job so we asked her why she thought that, what came out of her mouth next stunned me speechless, she said she didn't pay for the 12 pk of MT Dew she had down on the bottom of her cart and the person who checked her out didn't notice it was there and she didn't say anything.ls She also admitted that it is not the first time and she has done it with other things she puts down there sometimes too, at this point we are at our car loading groceries she mentioned and threw out a $ amount of 40 dollars that she has SHOP LIFTED from the Walmart that my husband works for as a part-time job and both of her grandkids are trying to get a job at. I am at a loss we didn't address it at the time, but I know we need to soon. I am at the end of my rope AGAIN!

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Go to loss prevention/security or your rep and give them the date and time of the transaction. Tell them they need to pull the security footage of a suspected shoplifter -- possible chronic shoplifter. Let them know you personally know the person but as per policy you are concerned about directly confronting a Walmart shoplifter and are reporting for them to follow-up. I'd even request they keep you out of it by pulling the footage and doing what policy requires for ANY shoplifting suspect.
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Elburs1974 Jun 7, 2025
Thank you that is exactly what we will do.
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Context from prior posts about your MIL: https://www.agingcare.com/questions/how-do-we-approach-our-concerns-about-some-decisions-that-my-husbands-mom-has-made-469328.htm https://www.agingcare.com/questions/does-a-senior-that-is-having-their-retirement-saving-distributed-monthly-and-having-taxes-withheld-s-485493.htm As you suggested in one of these earlier posts, your MIL is a liar. Everything that comes out of her mouth should be questioned and/or ignored. What is her immigration status here in the US? She can't even apply for SS because she didn't have/get the "right paperwork"... so then when her money runs out her (since she seems to be in her late 60s now), will you be willing/able to support her? Does she even get Medicare? More info would be helpful.
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Elburs1974 Jun 7, 2025
She does have SS and Medicare now, that was finally cleared up she got what she needed from immigration I think she was approved the beginning of last year.
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Does MIL have dementia, or is she merely a crook without a conscience? There really is quite a difference. If your MIL is not impaired I wonder at her being so willing/feeling to free to discuss with you in such a delighted manner, her thefts? I can't imagine a family member saying this to me. Can't imagine my not saying "WHAT????!!!!!!!! You did WHAT????"
MIL raised your husband/wife? What clues had they that this is considered "normal" in the family? Because if there is/was none, then it's time for some testing for dementia.

In any case, it's time for a sit-down with you, spouse, and MIL.
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Elburs1974 Jun 7, 2025
Maybe Both?
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Go to Walmart without your MIL and tell them you want to rectify an accidental non-purchase of goods by your MIL with dementia. Tell them what she took, don't give them her name, pay for it and then never let her in any store again. You don't have to tell her. If she asks why you aren't going to allow her to shop with you anymore you can tell her it's because she stole and thought there was nothing illegal, immoral or unethical about doing it. Then walk away and don't let her try to waste your time justifying it. This is both a boundary and a consequence for her.
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Elburs1974 Jun 7, 2025
Thank you this was the first answer where I don't feel like i am being attacked. And great advice! There is no justification and like I said this was the first time we had shopped with her at the same time in years and were not aware it was going on until she told us, both my husband and I were stunned and needed to get our thoughts together before we address it.
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So, someone goes through the line with her and reminds her she has soda in the bottom. Our Walmart, on occasion, checks receipts.
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If you’re not willing to report her, then tell her she does Walmart Delivery going forward. She can pay for the delivery fee and/or the membership fee with all the money she’s stolen from Walmart.
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I didn't word the question right we know we need to report it but we are the only ones she told, we don't grocery shop together that was the first time in about 3 yrs and I am asking how to do it without her finding out we reported her or assuming it was us or we will be retaliated against somehow, she is a narcissist and i have posted about some of her behaviors in the past WE KNOW we need to report it!
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cover9339 Jun 7, 2025
For the pop, go back through self check out get another 12 pack and scan it twice. (if that is possible).
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I honestly can’t believe you’re even asking what you should do.
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I'm sorry but the fact that you are more than well aware that your MIL is stealing from the Walmart that you and your husband work at, and have chosen not to do anything about it has made you an accomplice in the crime of shoplifting as well.
I mean really....do you not think that if Walmart discovered your MIL's shoplifting and knew that she lives with you and that you were aware of it and did nothing, that they would keep you as employees? I highly doubt it.
Instead what you should be doing is dragging your MIL's a$$ back to Walmart with the things that she's stolen and make her pay for the items, and make her apologize.
Until that happens, she will continue to be the thief that she is and jeopardize both you and your husbands jobs.
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Elburs1974 Jun 7, 2025
We werent aware of it until that day we do not grocery shop with her this was the first time in 3 year that we went to the grocery store together, we know we need to report it to them but we are the only ones that she told she will know it was us that us that reported and we will be retaliated against somehow she is a narcissist.
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