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I feel needy for male companionship.

I don’t know exactly how common , but it makes sense . It is difficult to lose the companionship of your spouse . Your spouse is not the same companion anymore. You have a need no longer being met by your spouse.
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Reply to waytomisery
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TenderStrength5 Aug 27, 2025
Yes, it’s that loss of companionship that makes the need for friendship feel so strong
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I’ll tell you straight — yes, it’s common! especially as a wife, can be one of the loneliest jobs there is. You give so much of yourself day in and day out that it’s natural to crave friendship, conversation, and just plain human connection. Wanting that doesn’t make you a bad spouse or a weak person.
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No, I would say it is NOT common. I would think that your dance-card is at present very full. I think that there would be little left over for extra-curricular enjoyment of male companionship. It seems to me this would be merely an added burden. But that is ME thinking. You may think and feel differently, and that is your prerogative and your own business, not our own.
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Reply to AlvaDeer
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If you have time for some "male friendship" why don't you instead do some volunteering at some of your local charities or join a local support group for folks caring for someone with dementia, or both. That way you don't have to dishonor your wedding vows by looking elsewhere for male companionship.
I am not here to judge anyone, but I know that when I took my wedding vows that they included being there for my spouse in good times and bad, in sickness and health, till death do us part.
They didn't say that they were in effect until something we consider bad happens and then we could rewrite those vows.
And yes, I know of what I speak. My late husband had a massive stroke at the young age of 48(I was 36)which left him unable to perform sexually until the day he died at 72. And while it was very hard for me in the beginning, I never once thought about seeking out male companionship to compensate for what I was missing.
You see I took my wedding vows very seriously and knew that God would be with me and give me the strength for whatever was ahead.
And while my husband couldn't perform sexually, he was able to give the best hugs with his one working arm(the other was paralyzed)that made me feel loved and protected. It will be 5 years next month since my husband died, and his hugs are one of the things that I miss the most.
You will have plenty of time after your husband dies to seek out the male companionship you crave if that is your desire, so in the meantime just enjoy whatever time you may have left with your husband and give him all the hugs you can.
God bless you.
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Reply to funkygrandma59
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TenderStrength5 Aug 28, 2025
Wow! thank you for sharing your story — it really touched me. I admire the strength and love you showed your husband all those years, that can’t have been easy. I also think it’s fair to say we’re all wired a little differently. Our upbringings, our coping skills, and even our sense of what’s right or wrong in these situations aren’t always the same. For some, leaning fully into their vows gives them strength, and for others, the loneliness can feel overwhelming and they crave companionship in a different way. I don’t think one cancels out the other — it just shows how human and complicated caregiving really is.
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Yes, it’s common — you’re not alone in feeling that way. Caregiving can leave you feeling empty and craving the kind of companionship you used to have with your spouse. I’ve shared on here myself how caregiving made me feel like a part of me had died, and some kind folks reminded me I’m not invisible and I’m not alone. Wanting friendship and human connection doesn’t make you weak or disloyal — it just makes you human
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Reply to TenderStrength5
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Companionship can be interpreted many ways. We don't know your situation, the daily burdens you have, your husband's condition, how long he has been ill and so on. More information would be helpful.

I understand missing male companionship - some divorced women are in the same boat, and some caregivers. I would just caution you to tread lightly into that arena. Perhaps see a counsellor to sort out your feelings, Neediness is not a good basis for action.
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