Husband is 82 in a wheelchair, but mobile. He dislikes doing art projects he says are for children or watching movies in living room with all the lower functioning women. He is friendly, eats with others, kind to staff but reluctant to ask for help. He is losing memory and gets frustrated with losing what little freedom he has left.
Are there some male spouses or children who visit regularly, who would talk with him? I've know a few husbands who came with their wives who were visiting their mothers, and they would chat with male residents while their wives were having "girl talk" with their mothers. I've also known men whose wives or mothers with dementia were not very communicative, so they would sit with them and chat with the male residents. Keep an eye out for male visitors who might engage.
I hope he adjusts soon and realizes he too needs the assistance being offered. And that he will likely enjoy the games and wind up laughing if he joins the others. If not, not.
Best of luck to you.
He is probably not into the arts and crafts stuff which is not unusual for some men.
My MIL was in LTC and when she first transitioned in, refused to participate in activities or eat with the others. Eventually, when she went on meds for depression, the Activities Director was able to coax her out and she eventually went to all of them.
If your husband's facility has an Activity Director, talk to this person and see if they can ask your husband to help in leading the activities. This is an old strategy that may work for him.
If he's not on any meds for depression, he may need them now.
The question I might ask the staff is "how often do you check on him"
This would be a concern for a few reasons.
He should be checked for a bathroom break. This allows them to make sure he is changing position. It is also a way that they can check his skin and make sure there are no red or irritated areas.
Checking in on him just lets the staff know his does not need anything, he is safe and has not fallen or slid out of his chair. If he has dozed off it might be safer to get him into be or if he has a recliner that might be more comfortable.
Bottom line as long as he is safe if watching TV in his room is what he wants to do I would think that is fine.
My Dad wasn't keen about going to any type of projects, that just wasn't his thing. Unless there was a music event, as he liked hearing music from his generation. He did enjoy going to the main dining room for meals and talking to other people. Dad had his computer and he would use that but over time I noticed whenever I checked his computer, he was showing signs of having difficulty using it.
I agree with all the suggestions below, but at some point you have to say you have done what you can and it’s his choice.
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