Is there a way to keep Mom from turning her thermostat to heat in the summer?

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Is there a way to keep Mom from turning her thermostat to heat in the summer?

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My 84 yo mom has dementia and lives alone in a 2 story house. We live in NC, and summer and the humidity have hit hard now that it’s June.

Whenever we go to check on her she has turned the thermostat to heat instead of AC. Recently, after my sister took her to the beach for a week, they got her home to find out she’d left the heat on all week and the inside temp was 85! It’s summer in the South! I’ve told her she does not need to turn the heat on for the next 4 months, but I’m not sure if she just can’t figure out how to work it anymore.

Should we have the thermostat changed to one we can operate by app? Or is there any other way to monitor/control it? I’m aware that she does get cold because she’s on Eliquis, but I'm also worried she might suffer in her sleep from the heat!

Alzheimer's & Dementia Dementia Behaviors Home Safety Living Independently

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My mother 80 is always cold too, even being overweight. She has neuropathy issues. The thermostat issue was a killer when they lived near us in Las Vegas! Good luck, maybe a lock? We had to switch theirs out to some obnoxious huge one with giant numbers so she could see it.

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MS, everything in your situation is easier said than done. Great big warm hugs! Difficult is such an understatement dealing with dementia. I pray that you and your sister can find a workable solution to the crisis you are facing with your mom.

I would encourage you to have moms potassium checked, a deficiency is often why people feel cold in the heat.

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Older people, people with dementia and those on some medications often feel cold due to improper circulation.
There are locks you can put on the controls.
If you put on/in a "smart" thermostat YOU can control it from your phone.
But..this is not the real problem.
Your mom with dementia living alone is the problem.
I am of the belief that a person that has been diagnosed with dementia should not be living alone. There are so many things that can go wrong so quickly.

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And maybe unplug the stove, only thing I can think

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Mother is unsafe living alone. Requires 24/7 supervision in memory care.

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One of the answers suggested a dummy control. Sounds like a good idea.

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"My 84 yo mom has dementia and lives alone". This is what you and your family needs to address. No one with dementia can be safely living alone on their own. There should not be other suggestions on how to 'elder-proof' her home. She can't be living alone anymore. The thermostat really isn't the problem here. That can be easily remedied by putting a lock-box on it.

Your mother needs some arrangements made for her now. Like a live-in companion moves into her place so she can remain at home. She moves in with family (which I never recommend). Or she goes into assisted living.

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My mother passed at 93, with dementia. After she turned 80, she was always cold. She would bring a cardigan along (and often wore it) if we went out in the mid of summer. If she sat down at home, she wrapped herself in a blanket. Her hands were always cold.
Is it possible that your Mother is also always feeling cold? I would talk to her doctor.
Switching to an app-controlled thermostat is a good idea.
Also, how severe is her dementia? I am concerned about her being alone in a 2 story house, although it sounds like you and your sister keep an eye on her.

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@Annakat

Would you leave a child living alone in their own place if you 'kept an eye' on them? No, you would not.

The mother who lives in North Carolina where it gets HOT, does not have enough sense left to not turn the heat up in the house in the summer. She's cold and doesn't process that turning the heat up in the summer isn't going to help her. It's going to make her sick.

The OP's mother can't safely live on her own anymore.

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With all these wonderful advisors, I have my own. Hire her a social worker to assist her.

Your mother requires 24/7 care in a memory care facility or similar help at home. She can no longer live alone for her safety.

The thermostat issue is minimal while a stove is major. Get her into immediate care before her house gets burned down from an unattended stove!

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MS3219: She requires residence in a managed care facility.

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My mom has mental illness and one way it manifests is in the furnace control. We had the furnace company put a “governor” on it so she can only turn it up so high because she was melting parts on the furnace and started a fire once. The other night she thought she was turning it down and turned it off instead. (Macular degeneration too).

If you live close enough or feel you can trust the weather person enough, smart phone control and a “dummy control” might work that way she can think she is controlling it.

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You can buy a plastic box to cover it, comes with a lock, she won't be able to fiddle with it. Inexpensive fix.

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She’d take a hammer to that right away.😂

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I have to say that what got my attention immediately in your post was that your mom is 84, has dementia, and lives alone in a two-story home. All kinds of red flags screamed at me that she shouldn't be in that house. Two floors is a danger to anyone who is 84, much more to someone with dementia. The next problem is she lives alone. Really, no one with dementia should be living alone. If she can't figure out the thermostat, I'd worry about her turning on the oven. And I say all of this from a place of love because I, too, have a mom with dementia. Is there any way to sell that house and put her in assisted living? I know it's not my business, but I'd worry about her in that home by herself. The problem of controlling the thermostat, as you see by all the posts, is easy.

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Thank you for your empathy. I’m sorry you’re going through something similar. Agree 100% and my siblings and I are in the process of figuring out how to navigate getting her into a safe situation. We’ve hired a consultant/nurse/mediator bc currently only my sister lives nearby. She handles the visits, takes her to Dr appts and dinner with her family (“good cop”). I am POA and handle all the “bad cop” stuff like finances, home maintenance, etc. Our mom is THE MOST stubborn and anxious person I’ve ever known and frankly, none of us are looking forward to the kicking, screaming and clawing that will ensue when we tell her it’s time to move. Part of me says to leave her be and just have CGs come in-she wants to stay in her home. The other part says she didn’t predict this ever coming but life throws curveballs and she’s gonna have to adjust whether she likes it or not.

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A Nest doorbell that has the ability to let you monitor and change your temperature from your phone is an easy and inexpensive fix. My DH is cold no matter what we do and he will give me heat stroke if I let him.

But it sounds like you may want to keep an eye on her. One of the best things I discovered to help with my husband is to put cameras in my house to monitor him when I go out to run errands and such. They are great. Very inexpensive (about $31 a piece) and easy to set up and use.

And since he loses things all the time and has that dementia-related suspicion that people are stealing things, I told him they were so we could keep an eye on people working in our house. On one occasion when he lost an expensive watch and I could not find it, I was able to check the videos and saw him carry it into his closet, where I found it under some shoe shine rags. Highly recommend them for anyone dealing with a cognitively impaired person.

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Thanks. We installed Ring cameras a year ago but found them difficult to access, need constant recharging, and not to mention Mom moves them!! We specifically had one aimed at her medicine area and she picked it up and moved it bc she felt it was “in the way”

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A Nest doorbell that has the ability to let you monitor and change your temperature from your phone is an easy and inexpensive fix. My DH is cold no matter what we do and he will give me heat stroke if I let him.

But it sounds like you may want to keep an eye on her. One of the best things I discovered to help with my husband is to put cameras in my house to monitor him when I go out to run errands and such. They are great. Very inexpensive (about $31 a piece) and easy to set up and use.

And since he loses things all the time and has that dementia-related suspicion that people are stealing things, I told him they were so we could keep an eye on people working in our house. On one occasion when he lost an expensive watch and I could not find it, I was able to check the videos and saw him carry it into his closet, where I found it under some shoe shine rags. Highly recommend them for anyone dealing with a cognitively impaired person.

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Consider disabling the heat and the range. The range because she would probably use it to provide heat if the heat won’t come on.

Get her a small, safe space heater that will blow hot air on her where she sits. She may need one in more than one place.

Is she still able to call repair people to fix things?

Do you have cameras to see what is going on with her in her home?

Consider that while it may be uncomfortable to you, it may not be dangerous for her.

Is she staying hydrated? Many elderly don’t use their AC in the summer but turning on the heat is a new one for me.

Re the blood thinner. My DH is always seeking cooler air. When he was on a blood thinner for a few months, he was so disappointed that it didn’t cool him off.

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Can her thermostat be programmed? For instance, mine can be programmed for 4 different times of day, and for each day of the week.
If you don't want to go to the cost of buying a new thermostat to operate with your phone app, program her thermostat, keeping in mind she may like it a little warmer than you would have your home, and get one of those locked covers, like businesses sometimes have, so she can't adjust it.

She may get very frustrated, though, if she is trying to make her environment warmer or cooler, and can't adjust the setting.

It may be time to consider other living arrangements. If she doesn't know enough to keep from heating her home in the summer, she probably is not safe living on her own.

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I was going to suggest turning the heat off and having blankets and a robe with some slippers but then she might decide to use the oven which she might set on broiler!! I know my mom couldn't remember to turn off the outside hose. I put liquid paper marks on her remote for power and source buttons to help her control the TV/DVD and that helped. Might just need a mark on the thermostat and say it has to stay there! Make up a little fib on why,too costly usually works with the elderly. You're on the right track with looking to place mom as there's so much that can happen when the brain short circuits. Falls and missing medications for starters, followed by incontinence and uncleanness. The easiest way to tell mom that she has to leave is for "her safety" and there's just too much property for her to manage. It's nothing to feel guilty about, you know how important she is to you and you don't want anything to happen to her. Investing in the home to make it safer for her is good but could make the home harder to sell depending on the "improvements".

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An easy fix is a remotely programmable thermostat.

However,

Today it's the thermostat tomorrow it's the gas stove, or doors unlocked etc etc. She needs to be in senior care for dementia patients, before she harms or kills herself.

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I had the same issue. We installed the Nest and control the system via Alexa app. If the temp needs to be changed I can be contacted and adjust it. Very easy solution.

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Great idea.

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https://www.homedepot.com/pep/Honeywell-Home-Thermostat-Lockbox-Cover-CG511A/202024249?source=shoppingads&locale=en-US&pla&mtc=SHOPPING-CM-CML-GGL-D26P-026_002_AIR_CIRC_ACC-NA-NA-NA-PMAX-5707984-NA-NA-NA-NBR-NA-NA-NEW-Thermostats&cm_mmc=SHOPPING-CM-CML-GGL-D26P-026_002_AIR_CIRC_ACC-NA-NA-NA-PMAX-5707984-NA-NA-NA-NBR-NA-NA-NEW-Thermostats-19108732715--&gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=19108739231&gbraid=0AAAAADq61UfytCuVcrDyENpYWW683wzrp&gclid=CjwKCAjwr5_CBhBlEiwAzfwYuF4xfPJp0Bk_oXdc6QRfCKMmAMdD_iaoqaSubKwOK5bBJ-pfWPP57hoCSAsQAvD_BwE&gclsrc=aw.ds

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Thanks, and thought of this, but i am afraid she would either take a hammer to this or get her toolbox and try to figure out how to remove it.

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Yes. Look up the manual for the thermostat on line or have a technician come out.

The old ones also have settings in which you can set limits.

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Thanks, have asked the HVAC company about installing something that is programmable and requires a code to access. I am out of state so trying to see if they can work with me.

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Seems your real issue is that she can no longer live alone. She will not remember to leave the thermostat alone. She will continue to change the thermostat. The only way to prevent this is to have people with her to prevent this.

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Absolutely agree with you.

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Put new batteries in her smoke detectors.
She's likely to leave the stove or oven on.

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Good point. Her OCD has her checking and rechecking the stove & oven, but these are all warning signs, I’m aware.

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Does she call you when it got too hot? My Mom loved being in the "sauna" (as my brother called it). She only turned off the heat when my brother was coming over and yes, she couldn't remember all the time, so sometimes when my brother showed up, the air was oppressively hot and humid.

Getting a programmable thermostat sounds like a great idea. Is it only the thermostat or does she have a problem with getting the TV work the way she wants to also? How about the garage door, the refrigerator, and the stove?

All of those items I've mentioned have models that can be monitored remotely.

(and with a programmable thermostat, she could keep her hands off the thermostat, and just let the thermostat monitor the temperature for both heat and air).

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As the dementia progresses, she has stopped setting her security system, using her laptop to check email, & checking voicemail. She can’t remember the codes to access these things. She pretty much leaves her tv on Fox News so all she has to do is turn it on…but yes, if anything glitches she’s calling us to ask how to fix it. We clearly have bigger problems to face like her not agreeing to use a med management system…we are in the process of addressing all of this with the dreaded discussion about moving her to AL. The t-stat is just a “right now” problem that i was trying to address.

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There is no way she should be living alone. This is a giant red flag of why. She is going to die because she is living along with a dying brain.

In the meantime with you all trying to figure out where she goes now, buy a white Sensi smart thermostat on Amazon so you can change her ac and heat from your phone or iPad.

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https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01NB1OB0I?ref_=ppx_hzsearch_conn_dt_b_fed_asin_title_1

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In answer to your question the simplest solution is to turn off the furnace (there will be a switch near it) or throw the breakers. If she gets cold an electric blanket might be helpful, many modern ones will turn off after a set period of time.

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There are electric mattress pads too. They go under the sheet. The controls turn it off at a set time. The good thing about the mattress pads is that they are harder to get to, and that's good with a dementia patient.

However, if the person is incontinent, the mattress pad may not be a good choice. Too easy for it to get saturated.

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Purchase a lock cover for the thermostat that needs a key to unlock it.
found on amazon: Thermostat Lock Box with Key Thermostat Lock Box Large Thermostat Cover with Lock Universal Clear Thermostat Guard for Thermostats on Wall Fits 6.3''*4.72''*2.2'' or Smaller
Also as previously said this is the first step to checking in on your loved one for dementia and/or Alz.
Prayers for you and your situation!

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Thank you. We really feel like a lockbox would not deter our very stubborn, control-freak mom. She would likely take a hammer to it if she couldn’t figure out how to remove it easily.

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One of you should really go stay with her for a week and see just how impaired she is. My MIL could put on a pretty good show but in her house there were her thyroid pills scattered all over the dining room table, unopened mail, food rotting in the fridge, the bathroom was a disaster, and when I went through her bank statements she had $930+ in overdraft fees. She kept forgetting where she put her checkbook so would go or call her bank for more checks. We found 12 boxes of checks. She had randomly written partial info in the multiple registers. I agree she may be beyond safely living by herself now but you need to know for sure before it culminates in a crisis. Hopefully she has an assigned PoA. If so, this person needs to read the document and start the process of getting it activated. Maybe it's durable, which would be great. You're at the very beginning of this journey with her. THis forum has lots and lots of very valuable information. Come back with any further questions or problems.

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Yep, I’m POA and we have hired a consultant that helps with these transitions…we are in process of making these difficult decisions bc she never would make a plan so now we are forced to REACT to the circumstances when she should have been proactive after my dad died and made a plan like we begged her to. She thought she could always stay in her home but never anticipated dementia setting in after a stroke last year.
Agree, this forum has been SO helpful to me!!

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Your mother should not be living alone with dementia. Turning the heat on in summer is just one of many reasons why. Leaving the stove on and causing a fire is another. There are 100 dangerous situations she can find herself in now, and dehydration from sweltering heat is just one. She can no longer remember instructions or use logic and reasoning, either. Mom needs full time in home help now or placement in a Memory Care Assisted Living facility.

Good luck to you.

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Thank you and agree with you 100%. As with all families there are dynamics that have to be navigated through and we are in that process…but you know it’s not simple or quick! In the meantime the t-stat was just a “current situation” that I’m trying to manage from 3 states away. You’re def right about not being able to remember instructions or really anything “new.” Discovered this yesterday when dr changed her med schedule…

Is there a way to keep Mom from turning her thermostat to heat in the summer?

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