Long story short, Auntie is still hanging on in the NH but we are not sure for how long as she has become very combative and spends most of her days/nights in her bed. The nurses tell us she is refusing to eat and they cannot force her so we are assuming this will be the beginning of the end for her. Since our last post we have had my MIL take a bad turn having vascular surgery and ending up in a NH for rehab which doesn’t seem to be working since they need Drs. Orders for her to do anything and she seems to be going backwards instead of forward developing Edema in the leg she had surgery on and will probably end up back in the hospital sooner rather than later and then my cousins Dad has also taken a bad turn with his dementia and falling and breaking a hip. We are spread thin with them being at 3 different facilities and trying to accommodate everyone while still being there for each other. With all the paperwork, etc. we are bickering over nonsense since everyone is stressed out. How do you handle dealing with all this happening at the same time because it seems like we take one step forward and 5 steps back.
If she has children of her own they should be handling her care. And is cousin's Dad ur Aunts husband? Then cousins have their hands full. Your responsibility now is to ur MIL in supporting your husband. I loved all my Aunts but one. They all had children and when they needed care their children did it. And I considered all of us close, we lived in the same small town.
You won't agree, no matter what you do, so ultimately it comes down to the next of kin or whomever you want if your parents have not made their wishes clear and in writing.
I'm so sorry. I would never do anything to prolong all of this torment particularly for your elder who is wishing now to stop eating. In all truth that's a mercifully quick way to go compared to vacular surgery, which , as an RN, I saw more complications with than with any other surgery going. They don't heal in the periphery. There is the problem always of the blood too thin and their bleeding out or too thick and clots going to lungs and brain and everywhere any clot can go.
I am just so sorry that these things are all hitting at once and you must all really be up against it.
Attempt to form one person in touch with docs for each person and some sort of phone tree to communicate with one another. But even at that, three different patients in three facilities is madness, and you can expect chaos. There is little to be done about it. I surely do wish you all good luck.