My spouse and I will be taking several international flights next month to visit his family. We are both seniors. His parents, who we will be seeing, are both in poor health. I am adamant that I will be masked during the entire trip as I am concerned about catching something that I could spread to others. My spouse refuses to wear a mask because he finds it uncomfortable. He told me that he doesn’t care if he gives something to his parents that could be potentially fatal. I am not quite sure how to handle this situation.
If you don't want to go to the wedding, then be upfront with your husband and tell him so. Stop trying to come up with a "good" excuse to not go.
It's no shame to not want to travel overseas for a wedding.
But what would be a shame is if you go and then be in the wrong mind frame, which is to be celebrating a huge occasion with the married couple, rather than looking for reasons to be in fine fettle (as my MIL would have said).
Someone recommended this to me. I have no idea if it’s legit
https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0BGMBXDPX/ref=ox_sc_saved_title_1?smid=AJ5RUDAH0WCKA&th=1
Masking is not 100% effective if you don't wear an N95.
What type of poor health are his parents in? Are they immunocompromised? Do they have COPD or diabetes? Are they obese? Did they get a flu shot or covid vaccine? Both my very elderly Mom and MIL survived having the original covid because they didn't have pre-existing conditions.
Do you think his parents would want to see their son regardless of the risk? As a parent, I would always want to see my son.
When mom was 90 and had mobility problems and some dementia, I told her not to come to my son's wedding. That it'd be too much for her. That we'd video it and show her that video later. Worked out perfectly.
OP, I suggest you do the same thing. Stay home and ask for a video of this wedding to be sent to you. Send the bride and groom an extra generous gift since you're saving all that $$$ on airfare. It's ok to pull out the "senior" card sometimes and use it. I do. So should you.
You can wear one yourself.
You could, if you feel strongly about this chose not to go with him to visit his parents.
If he has underlying medical conditions he and you should be worried that will effect him and his trip. No fun to be sick away from home. You might also look into travel insurance if you have not already purchased it. Trying to get someone home that is ill is a challenge. You might also want to determine what the process would be if he is hospitalized in another country.
I will add while masks can be very effective they are not 100% and there is the possibility that even with a mask either of you could become sick. But that would happen even at home. Some of the transmission is from your hands to mouth, nose and eyes. You touch something then rub your eyes, scratch your nose or take a bite of that sandwich.
Recirculated air on planes and the delays that may force you to sit on a tarmac for extended times add to the flight time you already have scheduled increases the chance of getting an upper respiratory illness.
So how you handle it...
You wear your mask if you decide to take this trip
It sounds like your husband wants to support his son's wedding and go see his son and new wife and also his Mom and Dad.
Are you a second wife and not the bio Mom to your husband's son?
If you don't want to go just RSVP for your husband to go solo and you stay back home in the states.
You say you and your husband are seniors so it sounds like you are in your 60's and his parents are 80's 90's. There is no reason your husband can't
fly to the wedding solo in his 60's.
Tell your husband if you don't want to attend.
I fly a lot and almost no one is wearing masks. You would need to wear a N95 to prevent spread of germs. The problem is you need to at least remove the mask at some point to drink or you will get sick from dehydration.
It sounds like you need to tell your husband you are staying home.
Weddings are about happy joyous times and seeing family and hugging.
Don't attend if you cannot support and be happy for the bride and groom.
https://www.agingcare.com/questions/overweight-demented-incontinent-relative-at-wedding-497836.htm
See All Answers