My dear mom passed a month ago. She was in failing health since 2023. Lots of ER trips, hospitalizations, rehab, move to assisted living, etc. Now that she’s gone I feel exhausted having to talk to people who mean well in asking how I’m doing. I met a friend this morning and afterwards felt wiped out. Has anyone felt a need for just peace and solitude after a mom’s passing?
I would like to add this forum was a great resource for me over time. I learned so much!
So take this time now to take care of yourself, and don't be afraid to let well meaning folks know how you're really doing when asked. You don't have to pretend that all is well.
And if you need time to be by yourself, then just be by yourself. You get to call the shots now.
I am sorry for your loss.
I am sorry for your loss.
I did things with people but it was exhausting. It is okay to build up your strength. I needed a lot of peace and solitude for many months.
You can give yourself small check in times where you say after 2 months I will reassess if I'm ready to start spending time with others again on a more regular basis. Take your time and use grief counseling services to help you.
It's been 6 months since my mom died after taking care of her for over 6 years. I'm just recently starting to hang out with people or do "normal" things on a regular basis. I think if you push yourself you will burn out and crash and then you'll take a lot longer time to recover. There's no single way to grieve, nor a set time to do it in. In the past people wore black for at least a year to signal they were in mourning, and people knew to give them grace. They still tell you to avoid making any big decisions for at least a year after someone you love dies.
My fil’s hospital system was affiliated with the hospice mil chose. All their group sessions are open to the community, and whoever is running them should be able to refer you to a certified grief counselor.
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