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So, the hospital sent Mom home. We tried our darndest.
Anyway, we've tried soooo many different medications. She'll wake up to go to the bathroom... and then think it's morning and just try to stay up. Do I just leave her alone and let her sleep whenever she sleeps? Dh and I are sleeping in shifts. He works from home during the day, so I stay up until he's awake for the day.
There are some serious childhood trauma issues going on and it's a huge struggle.
Still can't reply to threads, but I appreciate your help.

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Reply to KNance72
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My Mom has had issues with sleeping since the Blood Pressure meds began for over 10 years. She would never take anything for it before she moved in with my sister. She is 83 and does not drive. She is a 36 year diabetic who really had her diabetes down to a science until they put her into an additional Blood Pressure pill coupled with the fact that she is on a lasik. She wakes up to use the bathroom and then she is a wake. My sister started giving her magnesium and that helped somewhat. No Melotonin unless they establish she is making GABA. GABA makes the Melotonin and so they advised against this as it can cause anxiousness. Funny so does the magnesium if not needed along with irregular heartbeat. They just put in a pacemaker. Overall my advise if she is waking up during the night I would review her meds and speak with her doctor. Giving elderly even supplements or over the counter sleep aids can do more harm than good.
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Reply to Tiggs82
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Stardust: Try melatonin.
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Reply to Llamalover47
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If she wakes in the night, make sure that any light she can turn on is as low brightness as possible. Change the bulbs or the light fittings!
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Reply to MargaretMcKen
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Let’s be clear about hospitalizations. MD’s are limited to treat the admission ailments. Sleep issues are not the focus of the treatment they render or tests ordered. For babies we set a schedule. For parents it’s the same. No napping! No caffeine. Decafe products only. Carbohydrates help with sleep. Low blood sugars will wake you up. Crackers with cheese or peanut butter on Triscuits ( high fiber) help sleep. White Noise machines with rainforest or ocean soundtracks help. Portable chair potty next to bed keeps movements to minimum and less bright lighting.
Black out shades or curtains create a better sleep environment.
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Reply to Discovery1
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Are you staying awake all night? Does she need your assistance during the overnight hours?
I would say, Yes, leave her alone to sleep whenever she sleeps.
You can try and gradually shift her sleep schedule to more closely match your own, with medications to help her sleep at night, and by waking her during the day. But, if she is waking to go to the bathroom, then can't or won't go back to sleep, I don't think there's much you can do to change that.
You could try giving her something to sleep soundly throughout the night, and have her in a diaper for overnight.
Sorry if this is unhelpful. You don't mention her condition or why you are staying awake all night with her. I found Trazodone was very helpful in getting my husband to sleep better at night. Also, reducing any agitation in the evening, if she is 'sundowning'. Keep her routine consistent, no surprises, and keep the drapes closed before the sun goes down, and keep the rooms well lit to reduce agitation. Talk to her doctor about an anti anxiety medication, such as ativan.
The more relaxed she is before bed, the better she will sleep.

You mention the hospital sent her home. Was she living with you before her hospitalization? Do you want her living with you, and to be her full time caregiver? You also mention childhood trauma which seems to be causing added challenges for you.
Have you considered moving her to a care home? There, caregivers work in shifts to cover 24 hours a day.
You and your husband sleeping in shifts does not sound sustainable long term.
It is disruptive your your home life, trying to take care of your mother's needs full time, especially if you harbor any resentment.
The next time she is hospitalized, don't bring her back to your home. The hospital can transfer her to a short term Rehab nursing facility, and to long term care from there, if appropriate.
If you feel obligated (or for whatever reason, culture, maybe?) to have her continue to live with you, then please at least look into hiring trained aides to come in and help. If money is a barrier, see if she qualifies for Medicaid, which will help with home care or nursing home care.
I wish you well. You can post another question to give updates, if you are not able to reply to threads.
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Reply to CaringWifeAZ
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Talk to her doctor. There are medications that can help. They do come with drawbacks though. She may be more of a fall risk.
OTC Melatonin might help.
PLEASE do not use any of the "PM' medications that are sold for sleep. Most will make her sort of "brain foggy" and with dementia the brain is already foggy enough.
This is not sustainable for you or your husband.
Spend down her assets. Get her on a list of every facility that accepts Medicaid. Some will take a resident with Medicaid Pending.
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Reply to Grandma1954
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I am sorry, but your mom should be prescribed a medication to help he sleep. Try Melatonin. The hospital did not try their darndest.
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Reply to Onlychild2024
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That sounds exhausting — Sleep issues are really common, especially when the brain starts mixing up day and night. Sometimes it helps to keep the house darker and quieter at night, and then brighter with some activity during the day to reset the rhythm. If meds haven’t worked, ask her doc about a sleep specialist or geriatrician — they can sometimes fine-tune things. And don’t forget to protect your own rest, even if it means outside help a few hours a week. You can’t run on empty.
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Reply to TenderStrength5
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