Should mom know the cat has to be put to sleep? She doesn’t see the cat much as he hides in the basement. Family would like the vet to come to the house and put the cat to sleep in front of mom. I think it’s bad for her memory but will relive seeing this? Any suggestions?
Just take her cat to the vets and have it put down there, and if mom asks about her cat, you just tell her that he/she must be hiding in the basement. And you tell her again and again that same answer anytime she asks.
And you can always buy her one of those life like battery operated cats that she can have sit on her lap and will purr when she rubs it.
No. Your mother should not be told and certainly she should not watch.
It never fails to shock me when grown adults have to ask a question like this. Really it does.
I think it's a mistake to think that people should not be allowed to make their own decision where they are able.
I think also that you know your Mom best, and must go with what you instinctively believe is the best way.
There is no way to avoid grief. We cannot keep our elders from pain, unhappiness and tears. We can only hold them while they mourn.
Have a Vet check the cat for any illnesses, then take the cat to a local no-kill animal shelter or cat rescue group. Even senior cats find new homes. Many years ago we adopted a 12 year old cat from the shelter. Our current one was 9 when he came here to live.
I thought the idea of it was to do what was in the best interest of mom, but I don't really think doing this at her home was good for her at all
I am so sorry that your family did this to your mom. It’s cruel.
I had my cat for 16 years and I asked my vet if I could hold her until the end.
I cried so much that he handed me a box of tissue before I left his office. It happened to be a stormy day. Between the heavy rain and my tears I couldn’t see to drive. I pulled over to a safe spot and finished crying before driving the rest of the way home.
I was young, in my 20’s when I had to euthanize my cat. I can’t imagine going through that pain as an old person with dementia.
I stayed with my little schnauzer when she had to be euthanatized. Again I cried my eyes out, so badly that my vet called me the next day to check on me. I told him that I wasn’t okay but that I would be.
I swore that I would never get another pet because I couldn’t take losing another one.
Well, six months later I had a four year old greyhound in our home that we rescued. This dog stole my heart. I adored him. My mom absolutely loved him and he loved her.
Mom said that she and the dog were growing old together. They had an incredible bond.
This time my husband took the dog to the vet. I couldn’t do it anymore. I hugged him goodbye before my husband walked out of the door.
Mom couldn’t even leave her room to bring herself to tell him goodbye. I certainly understood how she felt.
My mother was his favorite person. He loved us but we all knew that she gave him extra treats!
My grey was very tall, a retired champion racer, 85 lbs of lean muscle, fawn colored. He looked like a small dear. He was gorgeous! The sweetest dog ever. He was 13 years old. My schnauzer was also 13 when she died.
I grew up with a small Boston terrier. I thought Mom would be intimidated by our grey’s size. They instantly fell in love with each other.
I could have never had him euthanized in front of my mom. It would have broken her heart.
I just hope my mom doesn't dream of this or remember it for long. they were not thinking of her at all. I just don't get it.
I'd also like to know why the cat had to be put to sleep? Was the cat actually ill? Did your family decide to put him to sleep just because your mom could no longer care for him? This is sad all the way around. My 87 year old aunt could no longer care for her incontinent, 15 year old chihuahua, but he was not dying, just old. We found a loving home for him because he didn't have to die because she couldn't take care of him - it's not what she would want. I find this post sad all the way around. And agree with the others that if the cat in fact was dying/ill and had to put to sleep, that it should not be done in front of your mom, but the cat should also not be just dropped off to be euthanized. Someone should be with him. Our elderly loved one's pets are not just a possession to be disposed of when inconvenient, they deserve the care and respect that they gave your loved one. Oftentimes pets are the only emotional support our loved ones have. They deserve more.
This was really cruel to have someone sick experience this even if they remember the incident or not.