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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
Have you contacted Hospice? I know that is a big step and a difficult one, but they will hold your hand as well as hers. Don't try to go it alone. I could not have gotten through without them.
Thank you for your caring response. Mom is 78 has dementia and is frail. Dad is 90, has late onset parkinsons and is on a feeding tube. They live at home with a part time housekeeper and CNA for dad. Mom started losing weight when dad got the feeding tube due to swallowing issues that led to aspiration. I feel guilty that I can't always be there and she waits for me to eat with. She used to go to restaurants with dad and friends and meal time was social. Now she has dementia and is lonely.
It sounds like they will both need an increased level of care, if not immediately then very soon. I understand why we resist the changes necessary toward the end of life, but would it not be better to get them placed now than wait for a crisis or god forbid have one of them die from something preventable? If all she she needs more social interaction and to have her meals prepared for her then a facility can provide that, and there would be help close to hand 24/7.
My mom recently lost weight. She is in a NH. I make sure she has her favorite food, peanut butter and jelly and a Coke with every puréed meal in case she doesn't eat her meal. It's working.
Is your father's aspiration due to a condition which can be remedied? Having been through using a feeding tube, I know how devastating it can be for someone to accept that he will never eat real food again.
When this happened to my father, I did a lot of research on the condition and was shocked and stunned when I found a forum for people with dysphagia and read that a little child of only a few years had a condition which required him or her (I don't remember which) to be trached and use a feeding tube all his/her life.
It was depressing enough to think that my father would never eat again (although he did recover) but the thought of that poor little child never eating real food really depressed me.
I don't know if the "it could be worse" approach would work with your parents. It sounds as if your mother is declining because of your father's condition.
Can you use any kind of music therapy to help cheer them up? I'm a strong believer in the power of socialization, art and music in situations where people are declining.
Thank you Garden Artist for your thoughtful response. Dad's dysphasia is permanent, sadly. I have taken him to a good speech/swallow therapist who ordered floroscopy swallow studies. Even his own saliva has to be wiped from his mouth. Dad has endured several bouts of aspiration pneumonia. He was on life support for 30 days once. Miracle he survived. You are so right about the social aspect. Holidays and socializing tend to revolve around meals. But, at least my sweet dad is not in any pain. He was a loving, kind, generous, father. When I looked up the feeding tube option two years ago, it was the best one for him. I'm now exhausted caring for them and running their home. They insist on staying in the family home of 52 years. I take them to Dr appts bring the grand kids, hot meals to mom, run their finances, and out for a movie day with the nurse to help me. He's lovin' the Dodgers. Mom is more problematic. My sister and I resent her. She was always mean. She has made several of the lovely nurses cry or quit. The nurse is only for dad, as he can not be left unattended for more than a moment. I stay upbeat and tell funny jokes in front of them. It could be worse. It probably will get worse.
Yogagirl, thanks for the update. I sense you're a strong person, committed to providing the best care for your father under difficult circumstances. I wish you well, and hope that your journey with your father brings rewards for both of you, despite the challenges.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
When this happened to my father, I did a lot of research on the condition and was shocked and stunned when I found a forum for people with dysphagia and read that a little child of only a few years had a condition which required him or her (I don't remember which) to be trached and use a feeding tube all his/her life.
It was depressing enough to think that my father would never eat again (although he did recover) but the thought of that poor little child never eating real food really depressed me.
I don't know if the "it could be worse" approach would work with your parents. It sounds as if your mother is declining because of your father's condition.
Can you use any kind of music therapy to help cheer them up? I'm a strong believer in the power of socialization, art and music in situations where people are declining.