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Wife of 54 years feels I am taking advantage.

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I think in order to hopefully receive helpful advice you need to explain the situation in more detail.
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Does she have any cognitive decline?

Do you control all of the money?

Is she responsible with money?

Are you responsible with money?

See a marriage and financial advisor.

Best of luck to you and your wife.
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We need details of what is going on. Can't even begin to imagine what you are talking about. Hope you come back and fill us in.
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