I'm just curious my mom was in a skilled nursing facility for 5 1/2 yrs. She was in hospice for about a month and passed this March. I have had over the years so much communication and spoke often with the staff. I live away and all has been done through the phone or video. The 28th of March I received the call that she passed. I have not heard a word from the facility. Previous calls with the administration with the random surveys always stated that she is one of the longest and well remembered. I spoke often with the activity person. I emailed her to gather my mothers things for someone to pick them up. My question is this normal, I would have thought that at least an email or a card or even a call. Hospice sent a card 3 weeks later. I understand that the workers & administration deal with the residents passing. They have to move on and quite frankly another bed space.
My mother was at a Catholic facility with Catholic sisters on the staff who did pastoral care. They all came to my mother’s funeral. It was a kind gesture.
I wish you peace as you navigate your grief.
He was upset and asked for advice. Abby told him, forgive them and that the way they were acting may have been a way for them to deal with her death.
Staff at many of these facilities don't become too emotionally attached to residents or they would run the risk of burn out or even a mental breakdown. They may teach this to future doctors and nurses as well.
"My Lunch" from an episode of the tv show Scrubs showed this (have some tissues ready if you watch this)
Cleveland Clinic, goes even further and transfers medical records for deceased patients to an outside company, who in turn holds them for a specific amount of time before deletion from the system
Please get on with your life and make new friends. I am very sorry that you lost your mom.
I am sorry for the loss of your mom.
I don’t remember any mail from the SNF other than a refund check. I was surprised to see that.
The hospice has been very attentive. They were not associated with the SNF.
So sorry about your mom.
A woman I know whose mother passed away visited the facility several times afterward to spend a little time with the other residents she had gotten to know and to say hello to the staff. Another woman continued going to a monthly onsite caregiver support group after her husband died to get support from the friends she had made there (while also transitioning to a grief support group), and then would go to chat with the staff. But another woman I know couldn't bear to even drive past her husband's facility because it was too vivid of a reminder of his final decline and death. People just react differently.
The staff might like to hear from you with an email or card or phone call and that would be their opportunity to communicate and say goodbye.
Sure there could be exceptions, but probably for the bulk of them it comes down to it it is a business. No more money being made, no interest
You could take that as never having to be in contact with either again.
If you are long-distance I think it will not be as personal. Have you wondered where they are storing her stuff? This may be a burden to an already busy staff. People in facilities die every week so I don't think they have the luxury of dwelling on it, even if they wanted to.
My sincere condolences on your Mom's passing. I wish you peace in your heart as you move through the grief and change.
I contacted the activity lady which I had years of communication to gather her belongings and she did and was picked them up 2 days latter. I totally agree that they don't have the luxury of dwelling on it, even if they wanted to.