
My husband is in remission from prostate cancer and was seeing a cardiologist but has missed all appointments because he collapses easily. He cannot even make it out to the driveway with a cane. The VA offered him a wheelchair I requested but he refused. I was a CNA, but I am 72 now and cannot handle his weight. (He has a homeless 94-year-old mother who refuses medical help.) I have no one to help me, because he refuses everything. I have diabetes, hip arthritis and essential hand tremor. I am worried about all the E. coli lurking around. I have been trying very hard to pick up all messes. I use antibacterial Dawn and Lysol, even in the washer. I have nitrile gloves.
Mom finally decided that the next time Dad made a mess on the rug, she would hand him the cleaning supplies. Well, she did. And sure enough, on Mom's next grocery list for me, there were Men's Depends.
Maybe you should just put the phone within reach and go out to the store for a few hours.
If you're determined to keep him at home, please call hospice. They will send a nurse out to the home to check on him, as well as CNA's to help with bathing.
Can you hire a CNA to come to the home and help with all of his cares? You CANNOT continue trying to help him in and out of bed. You will both get hurt, and then what? You have a stubborn husband who refuses everything, but lets you try and take care of everything for him. That is unfair to you, whether he sees it or not. He needs to be in a wheelchair. If he falls, call 911, and do not let the hospital release him back home to you. Let them know that it is unsafe and that you are unable to provide the care he needs.
Your husband needs to be in a care facility. Of course, he will object. He thinks he has you to take care of him. It is not safe for you to continue like this.
Please don't let that be you.