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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
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If you cannot redirect him, leave the room, turn on music, a movie on tv. Mid stage dementia? Maybe. The symptoms that go with stages are guidelines. Most likely he has symptoms across the dementia spectrum. They lose the filters of what is appropriate conversation and discussion very early sometimes.
It doesn't hurt to tell him that this conversation is inappropriate, full stop. I know that we are often told to validate and be willing to enter the reality of those with dementia but there are limits, it doesn't mean you have to accept sexual, racist, paranoid, violent or any other antisocial behaviours.
Can you redirect the conversation? He has dementia and because of that typical "filters" are gone. It is common for someone with dementia to talk in ways they never would have before, do things they never would have before. You have to tell yourself this is not him it is the disease. Another option if you can not redirect the conversation you can, if it is safe to do so, put on headphones, earbuds, ear plugs or anything else that might help.
Stop him at once and tell him that is inappropriate to discuss in public. You would be surprised how much they can get this. Simply say "Dad, it is not appropriate to discuss your sex life at any time in your life with anybody in public. If you do it we will have to leave at once". Agree with cwillie. That is a full stop.
With the dementia I don't know if this would work, but I might say that you're pleased he and your mother had such a rewarding relationship, but it's also a very personal, private one and should be shared just between the two of them.
I suspect he's lonely, reminiscing, and this reminds him of better days, and with dementia, he probably doesn't realize that the topic is out of bounds. And he's probably missing your mother as well; this may help him relive their relationship.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
He has dementia and because of that typical "filters" are gone. It is common for someone with dementia to talk in ways they never would have before, do things they never would have before. You have to tell yourself this is not him it is the disease.
Another option if you can not redirect the conversation you can, if it is safe to do so, put on headphones, earbuds, ear plugs or anything else that might help.
I suspect he's lonely, reminiscing, and this reminds him of better days, and with dementia, he probably doesn't realize that the topic is out of bounds. And he's probably missing your mother as well; this may help him relive their relationship.