95 year old with extreme vision loss. In last 2 years occasionally comes up with entirely impossible stories accusing people , including me, my husband and son of wrongdoing. I read not to argue. Difficult. He wants to involve neighbors. He thinks someone is messing with his stuff. Impossible. Thinks I’m doing things without his knowledge. Not happening. One minute he's perfectly fine impressing friends, watching news, using audible, making decisions, Then out of blue brings up entirely crazy stories. I choose to leave room which leaves him alone. Sad for both of us. what should I do to put his mind at ease? Nothing is missing and it’s his mess, no one else’s. Like now, confrontation followed by sitting on porch. Don’t get it.
You will never be able to put his mind at ease when he's in paranoia mode because his brain is broken and he can no longer use reason and logic and memory to correct his thinking. Walking out of the room is a perfectly good solution. That's what I do with my Mom.
Instead just keep reassuring your dad that you are right there with him to make sure he's taken care of and is loved.
It might be time to educate yourself a bit more about this horrific disease of dementia so you're better prepared for what is yet to come as it only gets worse here on out.
The book The 36 Hour Day is a great place to start.
Confabulation in Alzheimer's disease is the unintentional creation of false, distorted, or misplaced memories without any intent to lie or deceive. It happens when the damaged brain tries to fill in the gaps caused by memory loss. The person truly believes what they are saying is real.
Key Features of Confabulation
Not a Lie: The person is not trying to trick anyone; their brain is just making up a story to replace a missing memory.
Brain Damage: It is caused by physical changes in areas of the brain that handle memory and facts, such as the hippocampus.
Making Sense: It helps the person make sense of a confusing world or hold on to who they are.
Types of Confabulation
Provoked: The person makes up a story because someone asked them a direct question they cannot answer.
Spontaneous: The person shares a completely fabricated memory out of nowhere without being asked.
How to Respond as a Caregiver
Do Not Argue: Trying to prove the person is wrong will only make them upset, confused, or angry.
Stay Calm and Kind: Accept their feelings and try to focus on the emotion behind what they are saying rather than the strict facts.
Redirect: Gently change the topic to something comforting or familiar to ease their mind.
"Experiencing vivid images or "imagining things" when losing sight is medically known as Charles Bonnet Syndrome (CBS), which causes harmless visual hallucinations like geometric patterns, people, or landscapes. It occurs because the brain lacks normal visual input from the eyes and starts firing on its own to fill in the missing data."