-I’m an only child after my sister unexpectedly passed away 5 years ago-Mother is 77 and has health issues like RA, beginning Parkinson’s, anxiety and fibromyalgia.-She has fallen in the past-The neighbors she’s close to are all passing away-Money is not an issue. My parents are well fixed and my mother has excellent health coverage. -Husband and I are childless-Husband works rotating shifts-I don’t work outside the home anymore-Mother is still relatively independent able to drive, care for self, etc.
I’ve read every one. The time you took to answer me touches my heart.
My mother and I get along relatively well. We’re both redheads so convos can get interesting to say the least. My husband loves her and probably gets along better with her than I do at times! We don’t wish for her to live with us. My dad hasn’t been in the best of health probably the past 8 years and we’ve helped in his caregiving, frequently driving the next state over to help them. I’ve stayed with my parents routinely a week every month for about 3 years to assist them, which I value that time spent with them esp daddy. My former profession was in healthcare, which I happily gave up to be with them 3 years ago. That’s extra time we’ve had together.
After reading all the responses, I told Mother that I will do right by her and not abandon her. That maybe we can move her to where we live and go look at independent living facilities or patio homes after the dust settles. She was receptive and started ticking off a list of needs for her new place.
It was a brief but necessary talk yielding a good first start.
If she has money she can move into assisted living, be with ppl her own age, activities and not be alone.
My advice? Don't do it!
Best of luck.
You say your mother is still pretty independent and has money. That's the winning combination right there. Find her a nice, upscale retirement community/AL. She'll get plenty of entertainment and socialization while also getting assistance. She'll be around other active seniors and if she's at all a social person she will be enjoying the good life.
Please look into some places.
Before you make this decision, ask yourself these questions: How was your relationship with your mother growing up? If it was dysfunctional, it doesnt get better. Are you prepared to share your household with another adult woman? Trying to give unsolicited advice when your cooking, cleaning, etc. How will you split the bills? Will she be cooking for herself? How does your spouse feel about her moving in? And when she no longer drives;How will she get to her appointments when she isnt mentally or physically capable of taking care of herself? Nursing care? So many questions.
Are you considering this because you and your husband honestly want your mother to live with you, or because she asked and you feel obligated?
See All Answers