He cannot find his way around the house anymore and truly believes we are only visiting a strange house in a strange town. We have lived here 30 years. Other than that, he knows everyone and remembers details of our life. Anyone else having this same issue?
It's not just memory, it's executive function, ability to understand where the body is in space and how to move it, all kinds of things the brain does that can be affected by a stroke. It can also kick off or reveal vascular dementia.
Did he do rehab after the stroke? If not, see if he can get into it now. Most of the recovery happens in the first few months after the stroke, although the brain can repair itself by using other parts of the brain to work where the damaged parts did the work before. But most of the time, the stroke starts a downward trajectory that can last years or decades. That's something to prepare for anyway, but now that your husband is exhibiting signs and symptoms of brain damage from the stroke, it's more of a priority.
Many here will tell you that it is common for someone with dementia, memory loss, brain damage, will talk of going "home". Home can be a home from their past, it can be simply a desire to be where they feel comfortable. They all ask to go home.
Your best response is not to argue or correct the person. Simply comfort them, ask them about to tell you about "home" and re-direct their attention if they start to get agitated. That is, change the subject. Offer a snack or activity they like or just listen to them reminisce about what they do remember.
My mother is no longer at home because she has advanced Alzheimer’s but when she was home, she would pack her clothes and shoes in bags and leave them by the front door. She was always asking about going home even though she was home.
This is very common. If this is new to you, you will get used to it. My sisters and I have been dealing with this for years with my mom and now dad. Just be kind and patient. It’s not your husband’s fault. He’s doing his best to stay afloat and he will with you by his side 😊
As Sam said, find out as much as you can from his doctor(s) about the details of the damage done, so that you can prepare for what lies ahead.
See All Answers