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He can no longer drive, because he was making poor choices, and he reflexes are slow. The other day, He wanted to go to lunch, but I had not been feeling well. He said he would go pick up some lunch. He kept asking why not? I showed him a letter from the neurologist which states that he cannot drive because he has Cognitive Decline. He then wanted to know what that was, and how did they know. I showed Jim reports from his neurologist and a second opinion, both concluding that he has decline and possibly some sort of dementia. The reports both indicated that I had given my observations to the doctors. So, now he is blaming me for telling the doctors that something is wrong with him just so I can control him. I don’t know how to deal with this. The other day he found my hidden keys. I found out when I tried to drive and realized I didn’t have them in my purse. With a smirk on his face, he gave up my keys. Thankfully, he did not try to drive.

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You need to spend time educating yourself on dementia. The Alzheimer’s association website has much information, useful even if your husband is not diagnosed with that specific type of dementia. Your husband has lost the ability to make sound judgements and have good reasoning skills. Please don’t continue to discuss his decline with him, he simply cannot and will not see it. This is only going to frustrate you both. Hide the keys better, or consider if even having the car there is worth it, though it’s understandable for you to want it for yourself. A simple “doctor’s orders” without further discussion for him not driving, or better yet, “I’m happy to take you” will need to suffice. This will likely be a long road of decline, I encourage you to learn all you can and be preparing for a day you cannot do it all on your own anymore. I wish you both peace
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Reply to Daughterof1930
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There is no arguing with dementia.
You cannot win. Keep the letter copy handy and keep handing it to him with a brief "I am so sorry this happened to you". When he says "YOU did it" just say "Do you think so?" Then I apologize.
Divert.
Deflect.
NEVER argue or defend.
Watch all the Teepa Snow you are able to access (still I think on youtube free).

When you cannot live with this then hubby must be placed. This won't stop. He will become more angry. And it is common to the disease, a hallmark of the disease, not unusual for the disease.

I understand, and sympathize more than I can say, with your frustration. But your husband has a condition that isn't going to change and which hasn't a cure and which will worsen. Not everything, sadly, can be fixed. I am so very sorry.
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Reply to AlvaDeer
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Keep blaming it on the doctor .
Just keep repeating “ the doctor said you can’t drive “. Don’t mention cognitive decline or dementia . They get angry .

Hide the keys better . Park the car out of sight if possible .

It’s awful . He will never understand .
My ( late )mother , ( late ) father in law , and now my sister with dementia were the same . Even if they were aware early on of problems , as it progresses, they often reach a point that they no longer are aware , and insist there is nothing wrong and blame the people closest to them . I sympathize with you .
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Reply to waytomisery
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