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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
I tried adult daycare, I had to stsy, he has fesrs of not seeing me, Can't remembet what I said, etc. What am I going to do when I have to place him in a facility? I am 5'2" and 98llbs.
HIs doctor can prescribe medications that will calm his anxiety. It might take some trial and error but will be worthwhile when they get it right, so give it some time. I'm sorry you're going through this.
When he needs a facility, you are going to place him in one. Period. You have to look after yourself, and you aren't really qualified to take care of him now. Start looking now for a good facility and make haste to apply.
Medications will help with his anxiety, and the aides in the facility will know how to handle it. He will be just fine. It's you I'm worried about. I hope you find a perfect place for him and get your life back ASAP.
He is exhibiting a common dementia feature, called Shadowing. It's like when a baby's parent hides behind a towel the baby thinks the parent is literally gone and they can get upset. I agree that it may be time for medication.
If you end up transitioning him into a facility, you should not second-guess this solution. He will adjust.
That sounds really overwhelming… and honestly, it makes sense why he’s holding on so tightly. As memory declines, you become his sense of safety, so even short separations can feel scary for him. You’re also carrying a lot physically and emotionally, especially doing this mostly on your own. That’s not easy at all. From what I’ve seen, this stage often comes with strong attachment and fear of being left—it’s not something you caused, it’s part of the condition. Sometimes very gradual transitions (short separations, familiar routines, consistent people) can help ease that fear over time. And if it ever gets too heavy, it might really help to talk to someone who understands both the caregiving side and what’s happening cognitively—someone like Dr. Sebastian Liew. Even just having guidance can make these next steps feel less impossible. You’re doing more than enough, even if it doesn’t feel like it right now.
You might want to speak with his doctor about medications and start looking now for a facility to place him in. He will adjust once he gets there most likely.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Medications will help with his anxiety, and the aides in the facility will know how to handle it. He will be just fine. It's you I'm worried about. I hope you find a perfect place for him and get your life back ASAP.
If you end up transitioning him into a facility, you should not second-guess this solution. He will adjust.
You’re also carrying a lot physically and emotionally, especially doing this mostly on your own. That’s not easy at all.
From what I’ve seen, this stage often comes with strong attachment and fear of being left—it’s not something you caused, it’s part of the condition. Sometimes very gradual transitions (short separations, familiar routines, consistent people) can help ease that fear over time.
And if it ever gets too heavy, it might really help to talk to someone who understands both the caregiving side and what’s happening cognitively—someone like Dr. Sebastian Liew. Even just having guidance can make these next steps feel less impossible.
You’re doing more than enough, even if it doesn’t feel like it right now.