He is 65. He often thinks I said something his way when in fact I said it a different way. He has in the past made inappropriate comments in public which has mortified me. He used to be a good car parker but now his spacial awareness is not good in that respect. There are a few things - I can’t put my finger on it but he acts in a very similar way to my mum when she had early symptoms of Alzheimer’s. Do you think it is anything to worry about or am I being paranoid?
My parents have unmanageable "disasters" weekly, things like breaking faucets, appliances, plumbing apparatus... They are constantly losing keys, glasses, walking canes, credit cards, COSTUME JEWELRY NOT WORN IN 20 YEARS... Haha! My mom will demand a grocery run- because she needs candy or has a whim craving for Dunkin Donuts.
They are bored, scared, losing their freedom (possibly some sanity and logic too), to maintain their own security, they lash out at us.
I think, their logic is: if it's our fault, they are still ok and in some control of what is happening to them.
It's frustrating. There's often no reasoning with them- but just know that you are NOT crazy or paranoid. They are. ☹️😢
Reach out to other caregivers. It's generally not well-received when we complain about someone who's health is declining or question our own sanity. But, as fellow caregivers- we know and understand. The more you post and search these forums, the more sane you will feel. ❤️🙏🏻😉
When he finally finds his car keys, are they in a jacket pocket, or in the freezer? Once he finds his glasses, does he know what to do with them? Lots of us start being more forgetful as we age. Confusion about what things are is not typical of simple aging.
Many people do start becoming more forthright and less diplomatic as they age, but making inappropriate comments in public could definitely be a sign of the loss of filters that goes with dementia.
Often vision declines with age. Losing some parking skills might mean it is time to have eyes checked. But a diminished sense of spatial relationships can definitely be caused by dementia. Dementia tests specifically look at that.
Nothing you've mentioned in conclusive, but whether it is dementia or not, I sure hope you can find a way to have him see a doctor.
This is a good time to introduce the concept of therapeutic fibs. You don't always need to tell the literal truth when it is in his best interests not to. You don't have to say, "I'm worried that you might have dementia, so you need to go to a doctor." Tell him something he can accept (whether it is true or not). Insurance requires a complete physical in his 65th year. The clinic called and said it is time for a tetanus booster (or a pneumonia vaccine, etc. -- sometime he really is due for.) Consider the techniques other people on this thread have suggested. You probably are not used to lying to your husband and this may be uncomfortable for you at first. Just remember you are doing this for his good. If he does turn out to have dementia, telling him something that isn't the literal truth will be a useful skill!
Sometimes we just have to take things in our own hands and figure out a way to make it work. You may have to tell little lies just for the best interest of our love ones. Make a doctor's appointment and tell them why you are making one and you will bring a list and you would like doctor to review before seeing your husband and to do NOT tell your husband reason why he was there other than check up and especially about list. You can also call doctor's office and request a call from doctor's nurse and you can explain it them, so you already have it in the file.
The not hearing exactly what I am saying, could be hearing loss. My husband has been hard of hearing for 67 yrs and still argues he heard something right that I said.
There are a number of things that can be causing his problems. A UTI which is very serious in a man. Diabetes, low potassium, dehydration, meds, mini strokes, like said. Tell him he needs to see a dr. for you.
You can also have a silent heart attack which could affect the brain.
There really are too many "options" that could be the cause so only a complete checkup will let you know what you're dealing with. Even the wrong medication could have severe side-effects.
There are *treatable* conditions that can result in dementia-like symptoms -- prescription meds imbalances, untreated diabetes (that was me, pre-diagnosis), lifestyle changes, stress, sleep deprivation, depression (the list goes on ...).
He DOES need to be evaluated. Hopefully, his issues are treatable. If not, then you can start making realistic plans.
Best Vibes, and fingers crossed!
Hopefully you can convince him to check it out.
then write a letter explaining his symptoms and your concerns so you don't have to "say" the real reason in front of your spouse. hand deliver(or mail) the letter ahead of time.
be prepared the day of the appointment so that your husband is not doing other things that day.
then explain somehow: the doctors office called and said "they would like to see you because they haven't checked you blood pressure or had labs in a year...time for a yearly physical"
maybe its not dementia, maybe theres another cause?
If it's not Alz, then he needs to rely on a calendar or phone or todo list to help him remember his appointments. As for other lost items, there are there are small trackers you can attach to the items he often misplaces, these trackers then can be tracked using a smart phone. Amazon sells these and they are not expensive.