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I have lost loved ones or friends near holiday times, I try to find a small tradition or something that they enjoyed and share that with another person. You can also play a favorite song, find a new holiday tradition. Watch a nice movie, get some good sleep, make a few cookies, or call and talk to a good friend.
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Reply to Senior8
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Celebrate her life. If family nearby, review old photoes, share memories. Remember all the good times. Moms do a lot for us over the year to prepare us for lufe. Use the gifts she gave you to live a full life. My spouse and I had great parents who taught us to share, even when it was haed for us. So we volunteer and help others in their memory and find it giveus a special feeling of being needed . The world is our family, we can help others.
If your mom liked to bake at holday, then cinsider that and take to those who are lonely, unable to do this themselves. Reach out and share.
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Reply to Memories42
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Cherylarri: Be kind to yourself. Sending sympathies.
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Reply to Llamalover47
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I'm so sorry for your loss. I can relate to your grief. I was very close to my 95-year-old parents and I lost Mom October 31 last year and Dad 6 weeks later on December 12. I really don't even remember Christmas. I'm thankful to have a wonderfully supportive husband who got me through the holidays last year. Be gentle with yourself this year.
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Reply to DeniseV
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You are dealing with a difficult loss and you will grieve in some way for a certain amount of time. All of us will lose someone who is dear to us in our lives. I lost my beloved husband 9 months ago and am still dealing with the loss. One book has helped me a lot and it is called "What's Your Grief". It is written in a way that reflects true understanding of what grief is and what it feels like. They also have a website with resources. I highly recommend it when you are ready. Blessings for you as you continue this journey.
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Reply to gettingolder2
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This is a hard time of year to face a recent loss. And we all cope differently. For me, I forced myself to not isolate but rather to be around people. Others need to withdraw from people. As they say, "you do you."
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Reply to graygrammie
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So sorry for your loss. Give yourself a break and don't do the holidays this year or do however much you want to do. It's been only. a month. Be kind to yourself.
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Reply to Hothouseflower
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So sorry for your loss. My Mom passed on October 4 and I am still grieving. The holidays are so stressful under the best of circumstances. You have to give yourself a break. If you don’t have the energy to put up decorations or prepare a big dinner for family, don’t do it. Your family will understand. This year I called everyone and told them I couldn’t do everything this year. I’m not decorating, buying gifts, make dinner. I’m resting and coming to terms with what’s happened. My sweet friends have all given me hugs, invited me their gatherings and been totally supportive. I don’t know what’s going to happen next, the direction my life will take but I have just been taking one step at a time. Take care of yourself. You are amazing and strong. Let yourself heal.
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Reply to Cab54harp
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My mother passed away one week before Thanksgiving 2014. Our late holidays stopped about six years with her health conditions when Mom stopping helping me. So it was simple holidays until I was alone.
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Reply to Patathome01
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My Lady got her Wings on this Thanksgiving .
Every day I saw her slowly leave .
It is/was hard to see her go but I knew that God had plans for her. I pictured her entering Heaven's Gate meeting her birth mother her father, brother ,uncles,grandparents,
her step brother and sisters.All of my family that passed and our Silkies that morning right before I received the phone call. I shall always miss her. Coping I know that I am in God's hands and when there is sadness I picture her in Heaven sending me her Love. I take each day as a Blessing. If I have a down moment I'll talk with my Paster and family to go forward . I'll walk seeing her laughing at things remembering all the good times we had in the last 56 years. I am happy for her. I shall see her again when it's my time. My best advice is to take things 5 minutes at a time not a whole day at once. Thanks to all . Blessing to You
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Reply to HenryJames
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Seekerone Dec 20, 2025
Beautiful.
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I'm sorry for your loss.

Keep things really simple. Say no to invites if you have to.

One day at a time.

Hugs.
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Reply to brandee
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I’m so sorry for your loss. I know exactly how you feel.

We just lost my mom suddenly on this last Tuesday. We had just moved her into her assisted living apartment 2 weeks ago. I’m still in shock and haven’t fully digested the reality of it all. So I’m with you on how do I put a Christmas together without my mom, whose favorite season is, in fact, Christmas?

I decided to go with the flow of whatever feels right at that moment. I’m going to have some CDs of my mom’s favorite Christmas albums with me, and if I’m feeling it, I’ll try putting one on. If it feels right, maybe I’ll listen to another one. If it hurts, then I’ll turn something else on. I also decided to give my mom a wrapped present with donations made in her name to an animal rescue group and one to her church, both of which would have made her happy. Maybe have a good cry or whatever it takes. The timing couldn’t have been worse but next Christmas won’t be so hard. It’s just another day to get through.
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Reply to Dave1272375
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The year my father died (in July, not connected to holidays) my mother wanted to something completely different so we went to Georgia where one of my daughters lived and my other daughter joined us. It was nice to get away, let someone else fuss and it snowed on Christmas Eve. Snow is a rare occurrence in Texas, where we live, so it brought fresh perspective. The added bonus was I learned I would be a grandmother for the first time on Christmas Eve as well. We’ve not traveled for Christmas before or since but it really helped us not to dwell on what was different since everything was. We certainly missed him but we didn’t have to see his empty chair. I hope that time will ease your pain and that all your good memories will help you to get past this loss.
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Reply to Lovemom1941
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My suggestion would be to drop off the ‘cheer’, the decorations and expectations, find a small crib (I have one that I bring out each year, perhaps you do too), and celebrate the birth of Christ rather than bothering about Father Christmas and the red nosed reindeer. I’m not a great ‘believer’, except so far as religion is an important part of our heritage. It’s a different way to celebrate in a low key way that feels comforting.
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Reply to MargaretMcKen
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My deepest condolences for your loss! My father passed away on Christmas Eve morning in 2022. The holidays have gotten better with time.

I hope you are comforted by wonderful memories of your mom. ❤️
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Reply to SnoopyLove
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My mother died Thanksgiving Day 7 years ago . I just had my adult children over . Simple meal watched movies on Christmas .
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Reply to waytomisery
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Volunteer at a homeless shelter. I've done this at Thanksgiving, and it was one of the best Thanksgivings ever.
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Reply to Fawnby
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So sorry. I lost my dad on Thanksgiving day, also. It was hard. I recall I didn't eat anything that day except an orange. That was all i had an appetite for, and I had to force myself to eat that.
I had already had a trip planned the next month, (Christmas) with friends. I went and enjoyed myself. I kept thinking about my dad. I was still grieving, but I was also living my life.
When I got back from my trip, I had my job. I was still grieving, but little by little and baby steps, I survived. You will, too. Just give yourself time and don't let anyone rush you into feeling better. Do what you want to do and if that means absolutely nothing, that is fine, too.
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Reply to Tiredniece23
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You do what you feel like doing. You can have a quiet Christmas.
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Reply to JoAnn29
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We had a grandparent die Easter morning one year. A parent’s funeral was on Christmas Eve another year. Don’t try too hard to be festive or celebrate. Sorry for your loss. It really is especially hard when it seems the rest of the world is trying to make you be happy.
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Reply to Goddatter
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You cope one day at a time and have people around you. You can still have the holidays only maybe they will be smaller and scaled back some. Let others bring dishes and just get together with family. No pressure. Just love and support. Or don't observe the holidays at all. Or do what we do on Christmas. Get togther with family, order really good Chinese food, get drunk on spiked cider, and eat chocolate babka. We're Jewish, but I think this holiday custom can be adapted to any faith and any ocassion. My condolences on your mother. May she rest in peace.
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Reply to BurntCaregiver
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The Holidays are yours to celebrate or ignore entirely while you grieve. After dad died, I brought an 8x10 photo of him to the Thanksgiving table and set it out so we could feel that he was part of the meal. Mom was still alive at the time and I felt it was necessary to keep the holidays intact for her sake. They weren't the same that year w/o dad, that's for sure.

My condolences on your loss.
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Reply to lealonnie1
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My sincere condolences on this painful loss. Only do what helps you this holiday. Others can step in to if you want. Accept help for anything without feeling burdened -- people are happy to help you. It's ok to have a very different holiday while you are in this season of grieving and finding the new normal. May you receive peace in your heart.
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Reply to Geaton777
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You can choose how you handle the holidays. You can celebrate the love and memories of good times, or you can remember with sadness a life that was lived long and with fullness, and is now gone. You have every right to have a huge mix of feelings; I doubt they can be avoided.

The holidays often place a burden on families for so many reasons. Loss, estrangement, wants/needs. They are like life itself, a mix of the tragic and the joy-filled.

My condolences for your loss and I hope you find a way to bring joy to the day for others. That will make YOU feel better. If you celebrate this coming holiday you may be a "believer" and you may be part of a Faith-based community. That would be a good place these holidays to spend a lot of time attending services, finding outreach to help others, bring memories of your mom alive to others. I surely do wish you the best.
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Reply to AlvaDeer
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I'm sorry for your loss. Your grief is your own to share with those you need to be close to. Share memories. Stay as busy as you need to be, for as long as you need to be, so the grief is spread out a bit, and not crashing in on you all at once. Take your time with this. Rest and don't take on more than you can handle. Everyone will understand.
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Reply to ArtistDaughter
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