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Volunteer at a homeless shelter. I've done this at Thanksgiving, and it was one of the best Thanksgivings ever.
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Reply to Fawnby
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We had a grandparent die Easter morning one year. A parent’s funeral was on Christmas Eve another year. Don’t try too hard to be festive or celebrate. Sorry for your loss. It really is especially hard when it seems the rest of the world is trying to make you be happy.
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Reply to Goddatter
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So sorry. I lost my dad on Thanksgiving day, also. It was hard. I recall I didn't eat anything that day except an orange. That was all i had an appetite for, and I had to force myself to eat that.
I had already had a trip planned the next month, (Christmas) with friends. I went and enjoyed myself. I kept thinking about my dad. I was still grieving, but I was also living my life.
When I got back from my trip, I had my job. I was still grieving, but little by little and baby steps, I survived. You will, too. Just give yourself time and don't let anyone rush you into feeling better. Do what you want to do and if that means absolutely nothing, that is fine, too.
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Reply to Tiredniece23
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I'm sorry for your loss. Your grief is your own to share with those you need to be close to. Share memories. Stay as busy as you need to be, for as long as you need to be, so the grief is spread out a bit, and not crashing in on you all at once. Take your time with this. Rest and don't take on more than you can handle. Everyone will understand.
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Reply to ArtistDaughter
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You can choose how you handle the holidays. You can celebrate the love and memories of good times, or you can remember with sadness a life that was lived long and with fullness, and is now gone. You have every right to have a huge mix of feelings; I doubt they can be avoided.

The holidays often place a burden on families for so many reasons. Loss, estrangement, wants/needs. They are like life itself, a mix of the tragic and the joy-filled.

My condolences for your loss and I hope you find a way to bring joy to the day for others. That will make YOU feel better. If you celebrate this coming holiday you may be a "believer" and you may be part of a Faith-based community. That would be a good place these holidays to spend a lot of time attending services, finding outreach to help others, bring memories of your mom alive to others. I surely do wish you the best.
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Reply to AlvaDeer
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My sincere condolences on this painful loss. Only do what helps you this holiday. Others can step in to if you want. Accept help for anything without feeling burdened -- people are happy to help you. It's ok to have a very different holiday while you are in this season of grieving and finding the new normal. May you receive peace in your heart.
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Reply to Geaton777
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You do what you feel like doing. You can have a quiet Christmas.
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Reply to JoAnn29
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My deepest condolences for your loss! My father passed away on Christmas Eve morning in 2022. The holidays have gotten better with time.

I hope you are comforted by wonderful memories of your mom. ❤️
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Reply to SnoopyLove
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The year my father died (in July, not connected to holidays) my mother wanted to something completely different so we went to Georgia where one of my daughters lived and my other daughter joined us. It was nice to get away, let someone else fuss and it snowed on Christmas Eve. Snow is a rare occurrence in Texas, where we live, so it brought fresh perspective. The added bonus was I learned I would be a grandmother for the first time on Christmas Eve as well. We’ve not traveled for Christmas before or since but it really helped us not to dwell on what was different since everything was. We certainly missed him but we didn’t have to see his empty chair. I hope that time will ease your pain and that all your good memories will help you to get past this loss.
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Reply to Lovemom1941
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I’m so sorry for your loss. I know exactly how you feel.

We just lost my mom suddenly on this last Tuesday. We had just moved her into her assisted living apartment 2 weeks ago. I’m still in shock and haven’t fully digested the reality of it all. So I’m with you on how do I put a Christmas together without my mom, whose favorite season is, in fact, Christmas?

I decided to go with the flow of whatever feels right at that moment. I’m going to have some CDs of my mom’s favorite Christmas albums with me, and if I’m feeling it, I’ll try putting one on. If it feels right, maybe I’ll listen to another one. If it hurts, then I’ll turn something else on. I also decided to give my mom a wrapped present with donations made in her name to an animal rescue group and one to her church, both of which would have made her happy. Maybe have a good cry or whatever it takes. The timing couldn’t have been worse but next Christmas won’t be so hard. It’s just another day to get through.
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Reply to Dave1272375
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