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Her 16 year old dog is incontinent of bowel and bladder, has arthritis, probably some doggy dementia and can hardly walk. I know she loves her but it’s time to let her go. My mom is incapable of taking care of her and I work full time. She refuses to even consider putting her down. How do I deal with this? I have tried diapers for the dog and mom takes them off. The dog has peed and in her bed and she thinks it’s no big deal. I come home from work and it smells like a toilet! My days off I’m washing floors,rugs and everything else . Help!

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I hope you can find someone to be with your mother while you are not at home. I agree you need to take the dog into the vet this week and have it put down. It might be time to consider what mom's future is if her health continues to decline. Does she have Medicaid?
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Reply to JustAnon
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Euthanize the dog, it is time.The dog lived a full, good life. And I am sure it was a cherished pet. Do not feel any guilt about making this decision. Remember your pet fondly.

You are working and caring for mom, you don't need the extra work.
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Reply to Hothouseflower
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In my thoughts this is cruel to the dog. I would have the dog euthanized, minus more discussion with mom. She’s already shown you that she’s unable to make rational choices. Most all of us have been through this with a beloved pet, it always hurts, but truly does becomes a kindness to the companion that brought us joy. Consider if mom being left alone is no longer wise
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Reply to Daughterof1930
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This is a very sad situation, mostly for the dog who's life is being prolonged by an elder with dementia who doesn't realize how much it's suffering. If this were me, I would tell mother the dog must be taken to the vet for testing. Period. At 16, he's not acting right and needs to be seen. Then take him to the vet and have him euthanized. You can deal with mother and tell her how sorry you are, but the vet insisted the dog was suffering and needed to be put out of his misery. You can cry together and share the pain of this loss.

Its unhealthy for a human to be sleeping in a bed with an incontinent dog who's no longer able to control his urges. It's unfair to both of them what's going on. Were mother in her right mind, she'd have the animal euthanized, but she's not. Which is where you come in. I always say, when dementia is at play, somebody's gotta be the bad guy.

I'm very sorry you're both in such a sad position right now. It hurts a lot to lose beloved members of our fur family. I know, I've had to sit thru a few of these days myself. Replace moms dog with a motorized one for Alzheimer's patients. And reminisce together about what an extraordinary long life her dear dog lived.
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Reply to lealonnie1
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Sounds like Mom needs supervision and should not be home alone if she thinks the dog doesn’t need diapers and it’s no big deal .
Mom needs a companion at home with her while you work , who is willing to diaper the dog until you solve the dog problem , Good Luck finding someone .
And you have to think of the long term solution for Mom , as she’s only going to get worse .
Can you put your foot down ? Is this your home ? Tell Mom it’s not acceptable. But she sounds like she won’t understand anyway. If she won’t understand how gross this is , Mom is deep in dementia .
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Reply to waytomisery
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