My mother is currently living with my sister. She is 76 years old and has been diagnosed with Alzheimer's. My sister has a large breed dog and my mother likes to irritate him (my sister's words). So... They have a lock on the outside of my mother's bedroom door so that she doesn't get attacked. They're to keep my mother safe. Is this legal to do in any state ?
I agree with Burnt on this one. Memory care units are locked to keep residents from eloping.
Dementia can be a very unpredictable disease. Whereas a person may not have wandered before, may get disoriented, wake up in the middle of the night and leave.
It's not a matter of what's right or wrong at this point, but what is safe for the moment for everyone involved until other permanent arrangements can be made.
Also, don't expect caregivers to arrange their entire lives to accommodate an aging elder and their needs. Caregivers need to work. This is not the 50's where women stayed home and took care of homes, meals, laundry and elderly parents.
The OP didn't say in their post that their mom was just being locked in overnight, but instead implied that this was for longer periods to keep her away from the dog.
Either way it's very dangerous anyway you slice it, and either the dog has to go or mom needs to be placed in a memory care facility.
And I opt for mom to placed in a facility where she'll be around other folks her own age and be able to socialize if she wants to.
If Mom has no money, you can apply for Medicaid and place her in a nice Longterm care facility.
The dog is not a good idea if the mother antagonizes it. Either the dog has to go or your mother has to. Maybe it's time to talk with your sister about next steps and placing your mother in memory care.
This is WRONG on so many levels and it needs to stop today. Call Adult Protective Services first thing Monday morning and report this abuse. They will come out and if need be take over moms care, meaning they will get her placed in the appropriate facility where mom will be looked after 24/7 and be kept safe in the right ways.
To me this is NO different than keeping a child locked up in a closet all day.
If you truly love your mom you will stop this abuse today.
The mother or the dog should be moved out. That's an disaster waiting to happen.
Or 2 (better): Put a latch that can be operated from inside or outside (but not by the dog). That will require drilling a hole through the door.
Or 3 (better still): Use a latch that can be operated from either side, but the inside option is tricky to work. I've seen these used in facilities for young residents (with the latch on the other way around), so that they can 'lock themselves in' but the staff can open the door with pliers if necessary.
A dog that is part of sister's family. Most dogs wag their tails into family settings.
You, your sister, and family, must make other arrangements for mom. Or, convince sister and her family to move dog...
mom needs help. The more this disease progresses, the more help mom will need...
sorry yours going through this.. don't be upset with the sister; she thought things would work. They are not.
Can you put mom into respite care while you find a better solution?
Your sister could be in big trouble if someone reports this to APS or other authorities. She’ll be in worse trouble if that dog hurts or kills your mother. I can’t believe anyone would think this arrangement is a good idea. Color me flabbergasted.
If Mom gets injured it blocks Mom from getting help from others in the home.
A memory care facility is not going to let a resident get snacks from the kitchen at all hours. Definitely, there should be someone assisting in toileting the mother a few times in the overnight. There's a reason why memory care floros are locked. This is so residents can't wander off. Same thing applies to a private house. You can't allow someone with dementia to get up and wander around when everyone is in bed because they have to be supervised 24/7 like a toddler. A lock on the outside of the bedroom door is a safety measure.
If sister can't resolve the living arrangements to better accommodate your mother, then please find somewhere else for mom to live! Preferably a memory care assisted living facility. I'm sure neither you nor your sister are equipped to handle your mother's ongoing needs as her disease progresses. It gets much more challenging! It never gets easier. She will need cares and behave in ways that you never imagined, unless you have prior hands-on experience taking care of someone with Alzheimer's.
Please, get her comfortably situated in a nice, safe care home before this gets more dangerous.
The bigger question is why isn't she in AL? What's the point of cooping her up in her room? It seems cruel. No one would do that to an animal, no less their Mom... so you see where your sister's priorities lie.