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By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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I’m assuming your parents are elderly hence your the caregiver. It of course if able you’re Dads choice, but also you’re mother if he is not. It maybe difficult for your mother to absorb all the information being elderly, so having two sets of ears is invaluable. Another option would be to ask the doctor to allow your mother to record the visit or allow my daughter in. Most likely the doctor will open the door and let you in.
Do the providers even allow two people in the exam room besides the patient? Some do not. The neurologist my wife saw for a time had a sign posted that said that only one person could accompany the patient in the exam room.
My Sister and I have found it helpful for one of use to be in the room. Ask your Dad if it's OK with him that you're there. You can be a Health Care Proxy too, most states allow that, I did that with a friend who had a terminal diagnosis. Her Sister and I could attend appointments. Your Dad would have to sign the form. Explain it will help your whole family if you are included. Especially both parents, it will allow you to ask questions as his caregiver. They will be different questions than your Dad's or Mom's. I always feel it's best to have two sets of ears than one, being your Mom, so there isn't confusion. My Dad is always grateful I'm there because he doesn't always know what questions to ask and thanks me for helping. I do same for Mother who's memory isn't as sharp as it used to be. Best wishes as you navigate this family dynamic!
If Dad doesn't give you permission to be in the room, it is his right to keep you out. Doesn't matter if you are caregiver or not. Even if Mother is healthcare proxy, if Dad says you can be in the room, you can be in the room. Read the proxy paperwork, it will give you the specifics. If Dad is cognitive, he can sign a HIPAA waiver giving you access to his medical records, and the ability to speak to his medical care team.
It all depends on Dad. If he wants you in the room too, then there is no reason why you can't be. Even if he signs a HIPAA form, he can ban you when he wants to. Is Moms proxy in effect? Sometimes its worded a doctor has to invoke it saying the principle is not competent to make decisions. The main purpose of a Medical proxy is to carry out the principles wishes concerning their heath.
If Dad is competent to make informed decisions, he can request that neither you nor Mom be in the exam room with him. The doctor will abide by what Dad wants.
My Mom gave me pushback about being in the exam room with her. I told her my job was just to "take notes" because the docs talk fast. I also had her create a list of questions for the doc, so I was basically the "secretary". I sat behind her so that if the doc asked a question and she didn't give an accurate answer, I would nod or shake my head. The doc got it. They've seen it all. I did this for both my MIL and Mom. For my MIL I wrote a note in advance saying who I was and the concerns I had about my MIL (which was memory impairment) and that she was not recognizing her own symptoms. I discretely handed the note to the staff before hand. It worked great.
Elal613, for a while, my sister said I shouldn't ask questions during our mom's health-care appointments because, according to sis, if mom didn't want to ask the physician about something, that mom didn't want the topic to be discussed. I felt as though I was being told not to tattle on mom, too. I found it difficult to be in the room if mom was going to pretend that everything was fine when things weren't fine. For example, she wouldn't tell the physician about having pain even though at home, she would complain about pain, and sis would tell me to not say anything about the pain complaints.
I often brought up subjects that my mother forgot or didn’t want to bring up. Since it enabled the doctor to make better decisions about treatment, my mother was usually very thankful that I did in those cases. She often called me a tattletale and threatened not to allow me in the room but, in the end, she wanted me to be there! There were times with particularly sensitive situations or where my mother didn’t mention a problem, said things I knew were not true, or we otherwise disagreed on, when I did talk with the doctor without my mother present. When her caregivers were available to come to the appointment we included them as well since I lived two hours away so they saw more of the day to day situation and could answer some questions better than I could. Now that my mother is in MC I don’t know when the NP they use will be there. She and I do keep in touch by email and I can also let the RN who works at the facility know my concerns and she too can bring them up. I do miss going to the appointments however. I still take her to dental, dermatology and ophthalmology appointments since she has been seeing them for years even though she lived out of state for quite a while. Before moving to MC she lived in a different state so she saw a geriatrician there. I wish I could have continued using her since she was incredible.
I don't know what the laws say about this. From my viewpoint as one adult child (of four) of parents whose health-care appointments we often attended, even three people in addition to the patient wasn't too many. Two, such as you and your mother in your situation, probably is optimal. I don't think one is enough; it can be difficult for one person to listen, ask questions, and take notes all at the same time.
If you're the caregiver, you should have access as well. As Geaton said, have your father fill out the HIPAA form to allow you, if there is any question.
Are you being treated fairly as his caregiver? Are your parents appreciative and respectful of the help you're providing to him?
You can go with them to the appointment and ask for the HIPAA Medical Representative form. Have your Dad fill in your name so that the medical staff can legally discuss your Dad's private health information with you without his further consent or presence.
My older siblings one who lives on the Upper west side of NYC and One who lives in DC think that I use my father's medical appointments as a means to tattle on my father. They don't understand what I have been going through as caregiver to my father for the past 13 years. Nor do they understand the day to day functioning of my father.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
It maybe difficult for your mother to absorb all the information being elderly, so having two sets of ears is invaluable.
Another option would be to ask the doctor to allow your mother to record the visit or allow my daughter in. Most likely the doctor will open the door and let you in.
If Dad is competent to make informed decisions, he can request that neither you nor Mom be in the exam room with him. The doctor will abide by what Dad wants.
Are you being treated fairly as his caregiver? Are your parents appreciative and respectful of the help you're providing to him?
You can go with them to the appointment and ask for the HIPAA Medical Representative form. Have your Dad fill in your name so that the medical staff can legally discuss your Dad's private health information with you without his further consent or presence.