We don't ask her to pay anything. She is in her right mind so she isn't going crazy. She has run off all my kids out of my house but insist on having her so called family there whenever she wants. She says that her only family is my brother and his 2 kids. Which hurts my feelings. What can I do about putting her in a nursing home or getting her out of my house? I hate to do it but I can't loose my marriage too. Please help.
Note, your Mom sounds like she is doing well health wise, thus a nursing home would not accept her. Neither would Assistant Living. She would need to move to either a senior apartment where rent is based on her income. Or to a senior facility that has "Independent Living" where she has her own full size apartment (with her own full size kitchen) where she would get weekly housekeeping. My Dad moved to such a place and loved it, as he was around people of his own generation. Something to think about.
Call your Office of Aging and see where there is housing in her price range. If all she gets is SS and a pension, there are HUD apartments were she pats 30% of the rent. Gets heat and electricity maybe capped. You marriage is #1 here.
Listen to the advice of these wise people here.
Why would you prioritize this woman over your husband and children? Enough is enough. Live your life in peace with your own family.
I hope the OP stops being a victim and moves on. I really wish I had.
She will never leave her FREE setup at your house unless she is forced. Since she pays Brother's bills and doesn't give you money for rent or food, that's the logical solution.
Change the locks afterwards too.
The second ANYONE tried to "run" my kids out of MY house would be the second I would tell that person to pack their bags and get the he** out. Immediately!
Tell mom to get out. If she's "in her right mind", then she should have NO problem fending for herself!
You don't want to be the "bad" guy, but that's what it is going to take. Why on Earth do you think mom will leave voluntarily when you are covering all of her expenses AND taking her B.S. to boot? Tell mom she has a choice - move out or start paying you $5,000 per month in rent. Make it so uncomfortable for her that SHE looks to leave. Don't do ANYTHING for her - not a meal, or a load of laundry, and tell her under NO circumstances is your brother and his kids allowed in YOUR home.
It seems to me that mom needs you way, way more than you need her; it's time to make her aware of the fact that her behavior has driven you to do this.
It's NOT your responsibility to get mom into a nursing home if she, indeed, is in her right mind. Let HER figure it out.
And give her a notice of one month to find a new place to live since you say she's in her right mind. Or just let your brother know that you'll be dropping her off at his house with all her belongings at the end of the month, and he can deal with her since he's her "favorite."
You deserve to live in peace in your own home, so moms got to go ASAP.