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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
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By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
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V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
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He’s still can understand when I am saying, and I know he would refuse to go into a facility. But I might get to the point where I can no longer care for him in my home.
Make sure he gives you POA so you can place him with or without his approval if necessary. Then don't talk about it......very few elders with dementia agree to placement beforehand.
The living arrangement must work for you both, not just dad. When it’s too much for you to handle, he has to move, whether that’s his wish or not. In the meantime, before his slight dementia advances, so very soon, make sure all needed legal documents are in place. Will, advance directive, POA for healthcare and financial all need to be in place with you as POA. No need to discuss facility care as long as you’re okay with the caregiving. When it becomes too much, tell him exactly that, minus explaining over and over, and find the best place possible. You’ll change from in home caregiver to frequent visitor and advocate for him
How recent is "recently passed"? He needs time to grieve this profound loss, dementia or not. Then he moves, another adjustment. Things are moving pretty fast for your poor Dad.
I too hope he assigned you as his durable PoA. If not, and you say he can still understand what you explain to him, he still has capacity to assign a PoA. Without this, you may run into trouble transitioning him into a facility, managing his finances, or medical care, etc.
I'm sorry for the loss of your Mom... lots of change in a short period of time. Don't make any important decisions for a while until you both get your footing.
How about you talk about the future, when he may need more care around-the-clock than you can provide him. You can take him to visit facilities, and (at this stage) talk about the future, when this will be the best option.
This puts the idea into his head, which is a good idea for both of you.
My Mom was in the last stages of her Dementia when I placed her into an AL. I had her in my home for 20 months and she declined monthly it seemed. I was her POA and we just told her she was going to an apartment of her own and was going to meet new people. And that wasn't said till the day we moved her.
Its not what they want, its what they need. And your needs matter too. My Mom was fairly easy but it still like being on call 24/7. Like having another small child. As long as she saw me moving around the house she was OK but once I sat down she was calling me. Those middle of the night wanderings got to me too. The first night she was in the AL, I slept thru the night it was so nice.
Yes discuss with him now. This is no longer just about what he WANTS...it also involves you now that he lives with you. Explain that to him. There is only so much help you can give before it becomes dangerous for both of you.
They all have a fear of facilities even to the point beyond their needs. I hope you are the POA? if not, let him know he needs to do this paperwork for him co stay with you. If not done, the courts will do it for him. Next, plan ahead. Visit Assisted and memory facilities. Many people posted here on collaborating with the facility to trick him in a visit for lunch where you sneek out and leave. When the time comes, you ask his doctor to sign the forms of admission. Some states ask for 2 doctors signatures. Keep reading in this Forum and you will see what I am writing about.
The most important thing, as others have said, is to get his financial and medical POAs so that when/if the time comes, you have as many options available as possible, to benefit both you and him.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Good luck to you.
I too hope he assigned you as his durable PoA. If not, and you say he can still understand what you explain to him, he still has capacity to assign a PoA. Without this, you may run into trouble transitioning him into a facility, managing his finances, or medical care, etc.
I'm sorry for the loss of your Mom... lots of change in a short period of time. Don't make any important decisions for a while until you both get your footing.
This puts the idea into his head, which is a good idea for both of you.
Its not what they want, its what they need. And your needs matter too. My Mom was fairly easy but it still like being on call 24/7. Like having another small child. As long as she saw me moving around the house she was OK but once I sat down she was calling me. Those middle of the night wanderings got to me too. The first night she was in the AL, I slept thru the night it was so nice.
Keep reading in this Forum and you will see what I am writing about.