Are you sure you want to exit? Your progress will be lost.
Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
✔
I acknowledge and authorize
✔
I consent to the collection of my consumer health data.*
✔
I consent to the sharing of my consumer health data with qualified home care agencies.*
*If I am consenting on behalf of someone else, I have the proper authorization to do so. By clicking Get My Results, you agree to our Privacy Policy. You also consent to receive calls and texts, which may be autodialed, from us and our customer communities. Your consent is not a condition to using our service. Please visit our Terms of Use. for information about our privacy practices.
Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
Owns a house completely overrun with stuff, only 75 we are 74 & 65. She was an abusive phone sister who never spent actual time with her family and never helped with parents, now brother and I have to clean up her mess
Look for companies that will do a contractor's cleanout. A real estate or construction company may help you find one. They could do this job in one day if they can assign two of three people to it. They'll haul stuff away to the Salvation Army, the dump, and/or the charity of your choice. Don't even attempt it.
I have a sibling who’s long been a hoarder. It’s a frustrating mental illness. We’ve done the clean out twice at his request only to watch it all return quickly. I’ve told his adult children I’ll not do it again unless he’s passed away, then I’ll help them do it the final time. They’ve long stated they will rent a roll off dumpster and toss it all, then sell the house for whatever it might bring. They will not spend much time or energy on this. Having grown up with it, they’ve wisely learned not to get caught up in it. You’re not obligated to do this, it can be hired out, but if you do, don’t spend much time, make quick decisions and toss with little thought or emotion. You’re not obligated at all, can also just let it go and eventually it will be sold at foreclosure or sell as is. I hope you’ll be able to move past the anger, it’s only affecting you, sister is mentally gone now and cannot be accountable. It’s sad that it wasn’t different or better, I know the feeling. I can’t be close to my sibling due to hoarding and a myriad of other mental illness issues. But anger and resentment is a waste, took me a bit to learn that, hope you’ll be at peace with it soon
I'm 89 and my spouse is 96. We've decluttered along the way in our 70s-mid 80s and will continue to do so as best we can. Still, as most elders and their families realize all too well, "stuff" still accumulates. Among my written end-of-life directions is one page related to clearing our house: call GOT JUNK (or a local equivalent). They will have the place emptied out in one day or less. We have nothing our adult children would likely want at this point so why burden them with this unpleasant and demanding task? The cleanout should be paid from our funds (our Executor has prearranged access to our bank account).
Who is her POA for Finances? The POA is the one that should be managing the clean up and other details. If there is no POA is there a Guardian? Again the Guardian is the one that should be managing this. If there is no Guardian letting your sister become Ward of the State and then allowing the Court appointed Guardian manage this. the expense of cleaning up will come from your sisters assets. And if you or members of the family are going to take this on they your sisters estate should reimburse you for expenses. You need to keep DETAILED documentation as to how much was spent and keep ALL receipts in case expenses have to be justified. (applying for Medicaid for example of if a family member is either Guardian or POA) You can't change the past. Your sister is no longer mentally competent or responsible for the situation. And hoarding is not just collecting stuff or not throwing stuff away. Hoarding is a mental illness.
Why exactly to you have to clean it up? Find someone willing to buy it "as is", then walk away. You don't seem to have boundaries with this sister. You aren't responsible to clean up her messes, for any reason.
Hoarding is a mental disorder that is usually triggered by a trauma. It is very difficult to treat. It would not be safe or healthy for you and your siblings to clean this up yourselves so please consider other options. Easier said than done, I realize.
Why is it your problem? Can't you just leave it? You say she was abusive, etc. Why must you do this? Can't understand why you have to clean up her mess when you don't own the house. Let the chips fall where they may, and hopefully an investor will buy it.
Unless you are co-owners of her house (such as you all jointly inherited it but let her live in it), or one or both of you has her POA, you don't need to do anything.
If you do jointly own it, then hire a company to clean it out, sell the house, and use the money from the sale to pay the cost of the cleanup. Your sister's share of the sale price should be placed in an account for her.
If one or both of you have her POA, it's probably best to consult with an elder law attorney (possibly the one who drafted the POA), to ensure that you can hire a company to clean it out, sell it, and set up the money from the sale for her.
Who made the arrangements for her to go to memory care, and is handling the bills for that?
I know this must be incredibly frustrating; as an avid viewer of "Hoarders," you have my sympathy.
I was caring for her but she became physically and mentally abusive. She would have hallucinations, try to leave house, and refusing meds, etc. From ER she went to an expensive memory care facility bc they were the only one who would accept her. We had to get a heloc loan just to pay them & some of her outstanding debt which is close to $80,000. We are the POA and are now working with a lawyer to help with this mess. We are both working on this daily which makes us feel angry and resentful. Thank you for your advice
My Mom had a 125 yr old farmhouse that had to be cleaned out and it was just me and husband to clean out 60 yrs of stuff. I did it room by room. Lots went in the trash. Some to a local charity thrift shop and Habitat for Humanity, they picked up.
My motto was "Just do it".
You know you can have the State take over your sisters care. You can revoke your POA. I would not have worried about any debts she owed. If she could not afford a Memory care, she could have gone to a Medicaid facility. As POAs you do not spend your own money.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Good luck to you.
If there is no POA is there a Guardian? Again the Guardian is the one that should be managing this.
If there is no Guardian letting your sister become Ward of the State and then allowing the Court appointed Guardian manage this. the expense of cleaning up will come from your sisters assets. And if you or members of the family are going to take this on they your sisters estate should reimburse you for expenses. You need to keep DETAILED documentation as to how much was spent and keep ALL receipts in case expenses have to be justified. (applying for Medicaid for example of if a family member is either Guardian or POA)
You can't change the past.
Your sister is no longer mentally competent or responsible for the situation.
And hoarding is not just collecting stuff or not throwing stuff away. Hoarding is a mental illness.
Hoarding is a mental disorder that is usually triggered by a trauma. It is very difficult to treat. It would not be safe or healthy for you and your siblings to clean this up yourselves so please consider other options. Easier said than done, I realize.
Pay to have someone haul everything out.
If you do jointly own it, then hire a company to clean it out, sell the house, and use the money from the sale to pay the cost of the cleanup. Your sister's share of the sale price should be placed in an account for her.
If one or both of you have her POA, it's probably best to consult with an elder law attorney (possibly the one who drafted the POA), to ensure that you can hire a company to clean it out, sell it, and set up the money from the sale for her.
Who made the arrangements for her to go to memory care, and is handling the bills for that?
I know this must be incredibly frustrating; as an avid viewer of "Hoarders," you have my sympathy.
My motto was "Just do it".
You know you can have the State take over your sisters care. You can revoke your POA. I would not have worried about any debts she owed. If she could not afford a Memory care, she could have gone to a Medicaid facility. As POAs you do not spend your own money.
See All Answers