My step sister took control of all my step dad's finances and so wondering if it is unreasonable to expect since my step dad has VA pension, social security and a job pension that he would help with paying expenses to assist my mom in making car payments, heating, and other expenses of maintaining their home. They have been married nearly 38 years.
Not sure how VA facilities work, but if he does have excess funds after his care is paid for then that money belongs to his wife.
Guess I'm coming up with more questions than answers, I will have a similar situation with my dad and his wife of 31 years so far but they have at least partially mapped that out thank goodness. Anyway it might be advisable to consult an elder law attorney about this for all of you, I don't mean hire one to fight step sibling I mean all go to one perhaps to figure it out together if possible It should be paid for out of parents accounts and it will go a long way for relations in the future if you can all do it together, work together at least on the financial piece.
Is there any share of cost to him for the VA nursing home?
If not, you need an attorney, and should also find the local VA Benefits office to see what she might be entitled to. Go to VA.org and search for Benefits. Good luck!
BTW property should not be in anybody’s name that is in a nursing home if you want the house to stay in the family.
I was approved and appointed by the VA for my husband last year. I have only been his wife for 26 years. Rare that a non spouse would be appointed.
I'd find out more about that.
I would, however, suggest making contact with the VA. There should be some provisions in place, like Medicaid has, for ensuring the spouse isn't impoverished. She might qualify for the aid/assistance benefit, even if she can't tap into his income. Recommend also consult with EC atty.
Again check with the VA. They have alot of options.
What happens about joint finances when one spouse goes into a nursing home is often complicated, and it might be best to get professional advice for everyone's peace of mind and clarity anyway.