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She is currently in skilled nursing trying to regain strength after hospital stay. We have no children in town to help when we transition back home. I do all the household chores, cooking, cleaning, laundry etc. I can handle the chores and don’t mind at all. I’d be doing the same stuff if I were single. What I’m concerned about is caring for her in a near invalid state. She has been getting around the house with a cane but I help her shower and dress. If she fails to regain her strength, she may need bed baths and changing. I don’t have the physical strength to perform those tasks. I’m thinking I will need home care but I have no experience.

Much of this comes down to assets. That's just a fact. If you have them you are in a good place to call agencies such as "Visiting Angels" and others to arrange for help for a few weeks to a month. Most of them have folks well qualified to talk to you on the phone. They usually operate with "minimums" which means they expect to be hired for a minimum of four hours three days a week. They do laundry, light cleaning, in some cases transportation to shopping or a shopping list, and give you the much needed break to take a walk on the beach.

There are also some who use NextDoor in their area to say what help they need and when, or Care.com.
I wish you luck. I am glad you are thinking ahead and encourage you to speak with Social Services for some options and ideas at the facility where you wife is currently.
I am wishing you the best.
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Reply to AlvaDeer
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I highly recommend hiring in-home aids. You can find them on Care.com or contact a local agency first. This will probably be quicker and easier than trying to privately hire someone - although you can certainly work on this later since finding the right person takes time. You can start with more hours and then reduce their hours as your wife hopefully recovers.

When my 96-yr old Mom was recovering from a broken pubic bone recently, I hired aids through a reputable agency to come in 8 hrs a day. Now that she is recovered and has her mobility back, I will be cutting down the hours but probably will still have someone come in to do check-ins and help her shower.

A heads up that hiring aids through an agency is very expensive but this is what you've saved your nest egg for, right? They will keep sending out aids who are back-ground checked; they will send out candidates until you find the right "fit" and schedule; they will provide subs when your regular aid is sick or on vacation; they will do all the paycheck withholding, 1099, W2 etc; they are ultimately accountable/liable if something goes wrong with the aid.

I live in a suburb of Minneapolis and the rate my Mom pays is $46 p/hr and she thinks it has been worth every penny, and I do too. That rate will vary depending upon where you live and the availability of help.

Looking into your futures, I'm hoping you have a realistic plan for the day when you both need a lot more help. Don't wait to spring it on your kids: make sure one of them is your DPoA, that you have a Advance Healthcare Directive, an updated Will, that you have all your important paperwork in order and in a single location, that your PoA is joint on your checking account, etc.

I hope your wife has a full recovery!
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Reply to Geaton777
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It sounds like you may need to find a care home for her. I would start looking now, and as JoAnn said, consult a lawyer that specializes in elder issues.
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Reply to JustAnon
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If you can't afford to bring in help you may want to check out Assisted Living. If you can't afford that, a nice LTC facility. The Rehab can evaluate her and tell you what she will need then you can make your decision.

I suggest you see an Elder Lawyer to split your financesbin case Medicaid is needed. Medicaid also has in home services.
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Reply to JoAnn29
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