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Your "never ending argument" will end when you leave. It is your choice.
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Reply to Sandra2424
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OMG. Being "family oriented" does not mean taking physical or emotional care of his family members who are chronically ill and need a lot of care AND in your own home. Wow. If he moves back in, there will be more issues, falls, infections, etc. My personal opinion is that It sounds like your fiance is just trying to intimidate and gaslight you.
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Reply to Nan333
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I would not turn this fiancé into a legal spouse. Also, the timeframe to live is an average; my MIL has metastatic pancreatic cancer and has been living with it for almost 5 years. It’s been a marathon. Research “enmeshment.”
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Reply to Bingocat
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Who ever has poa wins their word is final. You can please some of the people some of the time, but you can’t please all the people all the time.
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Reply to Sample
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Slartibartfast May 24, 2026
No. POA can’t decide their partner is going to provide in home care against their wishes.
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this is exactly how i feel about my boyfriends mother...it rips my soul out to know this is what my life has become..its sad.. i miss me..i miss my smile..i dont know how much longer i can keep this up
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Reply to Christyboo62
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MTNester1 May 25, 2026
That's sad. Better to leave now than get married and either endure or divorce. If it's that bad and bf isn't contributing to her care, this is toxic to your relationship.
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When he said this:
"My fiancé flipped saying I am not family oriented, heartless, cold, etc. and that this a dealbreaker and he doesn’t want to be with me anymore. "

a good, immediate response would be:
"Okie dokie - Don't let the door hit you in the a** on your way out! Buh-bye, boy"
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Reply to EmilySue
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Partner, fiance, boyfriend, SLAVE.
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Reply to Sandra2424
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Your boyfriend’s father could have prostate cancer or some other slow growing cancer that will take years to kill him. He’ll likely die of something else before some slow growing prostate or lung cancer. Your boyfriend is using you as a caregiver for his parent so he doesn’t have to face the grief and disappointment, wrath of his father. He is enmeshed with a toxic family. He’s a child in a man’s body and no partner for you at this time. Walk away, move out, keep your finances separate and do not marry him once he sees you’re serious. If he wanted to marry you for many reasons, he would have done so by now. It’s his last card to play to keep you caregiving and always hoping for more. You deserve better. And, good news, you don’t have to guess why, it’s all playing out in front of you, no guessing. You are the free care slave for his father hoping you can prove to bf you are good enough. Drop all of it and move out and away. He can court you and place father if he realizes what he’s lost. Sadly, he’s just as likely to go looking for another woman to replace you to take care of his father.
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Reply to Beethoven13
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