My fiancés dad moved in with us 4 years ago. He has Parkinson’s disease. Over the years his disease progressed, falls became more frequent, stairs became a challenge, getting out of a chair/bed became a challenge, dressing was done at a snails speed, and basic grooming was not being attended to, etc. Also during this time I did the heavy lift with his care giving while also working full time. I kid you not, there was one time that my fiancés dad actually had to yell at him to get his ass in here and to help him because I couldn’t do it. Anyway, I pushed and pushed to move him into assisted living. It finally happened a little over a week ago. I was looking forward to less stress, having privacy in my own home and rebuilding my relationship. 5 days after moving him he ended up in the ER. Scans showed that he likely has cancer. While this is incredibly sad the first question my fiancé asked me is if they say he has 6 months to a year to live can he move back in? I said it would depend on what his care plan looked like. My fiancé flipped saying I am not family oriented, heartless, cold, etc. and that this a dealbreaker and he doesn’t want to be with me anymore. What he fails to see is that I can’t do this again, I can’t take it all back on with added complications this time. I can’t blindly agree to something without a well thought out care plan that does NOT involve me and also that the home is safe for him. Am I wrong? Should I just let him walk away? I am honestly starting to feel like unless I just cater to his wishes then I am useless to him and that he will always put his family above me.
"My fiancé flipped saying I am not family oriented, heartless, cold, etc. and that this a dealbreaker and he doesn’t want to be with me anymore. "
a good, immediate response would be:
"Okie dokie - Don't let the door hit you in the a** on your way out! Buh-bye, boy"