On the final stretch. How long?

My mom with metastatic lung cancer, on hospice since February, has taken a turn for the worse. She has stopped eating, pooping herself, not peeing but very thirsty, and can barely speak, and when she does, she is not making much sense. I know this is the end. Have any of you experienced this with your LO? If so, how long did they live? I would hate for her to suffer for weeks.

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The end comes differently for different people. Hospice should be able to keep your mom free of pain and as comfortable as possible. It's hard to determine an exact date, or sometimes, even an approximate date of death. Hospice nurses know end of life signs and can give you an idea once those signs present themselves. My wife was in a coma for 14 days. At the onset, the family was told maybe a day or two. We were told a person can only go 10-14 days w/o food or water. My wife took it to the max and died 14 days later.

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I’m sorry you’re going through this, it’s so very hard. When hospice told us my dad was in process of dying, he passed about three days later. My mom took three full weeks. Hold your mom’s hand, reassure her of your love, and know you’ve done all you can. I wish you both peace and comfort

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She seems agitated and scared. I would like to ask for more sedatives. I hate to see her suffering.

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Hospice should be able to help with appropriate meds to keep her comfortable and not agitated

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I’m really sorry you’re going through this. My father also had metastatic lung cancer. After a steady decline over 3 months, his condition deteriorated fairly rapidly in the final 2 weeks. He stopped eating about a week before he died, and started to refuse water about 4 days before dying. He was conscious and able to talk fairly fluently on the phone to me on the Thursday morning, but by the Friday he’d taken a turn for the worse and was under sedation. I visited him on the Sunday and he was heavily medicated and effectively unconscious, although sometimes crying out. He died quietly whilst still heavily sedated on the Wednesday morning. I was really traumatised at the thought of his suffering, but his hospice nurses were able to reassure me that the apparent delirium and agitation that so upset me were actually part of the dying process (“terminal agitation”) and that this did not necessarily mean he was actually in pain or suffering, particularly given that he was on high levels of pain relief medication. Knowing this really helped me to understand what was happening, so I would suggest you speak to your mum’s hospice nurses as they may be able to calm your worries about this aspect of your mum’s condition. I remember wanting to just lie by my father’s side until the very end. Sending you hugs and best wishes at this very difficult time.

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Thank you for your helpful answer. I'm so sorry for your loss as well.

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I am in awe and shock at the same time - my mom had some food today and is talking and seems very stable. This is such a rollercoaster.

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As an update, it has now been 9 days since my mom ate a spoonful of soup and she has been subsisting on sips of water. She is mostly sleeping but agitated when she wakes up. She knows she is dying. This is heartbreaking.

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Very sorry to hear this. Sending you love and support.

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Hugs and prayers for peace and comfort.

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On the final stretch. How long?

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